Thursday, April 01, 2010

be careful what you ask for

in a private hospital, everything costs money. consultation, investigation, medication, even the vomit bowl & urinal. if you have a fever, it's cheaper to get someone grab a couple of panadols from 7-eleven for you. seriously.

learn from this cautionary tale...

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon's clinic.

As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" 

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I  mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on  its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"$1000!" she cried, "$1000 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry.... If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1000."

16 comments:

Mei Teng said...

Haha...thanks for sharing the humour! :)

eugene said...

Lab report and a cat scan,, good one doc,,,,,,,,,, and thank your for sharing,,

suituapui said...

LOL!!! Have you heard the one of a man who went to see a doctor and asked for a castration? And the actual word he was looking for was - circumcision.

doc said...

Mei Teng & Eugene,

you're welcomed. just remember to bring some panadol with you to hospital!!

doc said...

STP,

no, that's certainly a new one, but i'm sure when the doctor had a look at "it", he should know that the man needs a circumcision & not the other.

missyc said...

dunno whether to laugh or cry at this.. can I opt not to have any more annual cat scan & pay for endless lab report? I'll die anyway....one day

tq for perking up april fools day :)

ilene said...

whahahahaha.....good one DOC! Lab report and cat scan .... whakakakaka...... Thanks for sharing!

Loshini said...

good one! :)

doc said...

Missyc,

yes, you can opt not to have any more tests done & be responsible for your decision.

& laughter is the best medicine.

doc said...

Ilene & Loshini,

have a good easter weekend!

reanaclaire said...

doc, this is a good one!! i came a bit too late.. but better late than never.. lab report.. cat scan.. hahaha...

Unicorn Girl said...

a heartfelt laughter :) !

doc said...

Claire,

you are always welcomed here, late or otherwise!!

doc said...

Unicorn Girl,

go ahead, have a good hearty laugh!!

Adino said...

Haha good one!

doc said...

Adino,

yes, i agree.