Thursday, July 07, 2011

life cut short

let's face - we often take things for granted.


when we wake up, we expect the sun to be shining & breakfast already on the table. when we prepare to go to work, we expect the car to run, traffic to be bearable & the office a temporary sojourn for the next 8 hours or so. while at work, we expect to kids to be at school & when we get home, dinner to be ready.


most times, that happens.


sometimes, things go wrong a bit. we wake up with a flu, the car doesn't start, the traffic is chaotic & the boss at the office is in a foul mood.


sometimes, things go wrong a lot, like lives are cut short. we often think of the young adult who is struck with cancer, or the teenager in a road traffic accident, or a toddler drowned in a bath-tub.


all expectant mothers hope & pray they have a smooth pregnancy. or at worse, just a bad bout of morning sickness. but not this one - 7 months into an otherwise uneventful second pregnancy, she realises one day the baby doesn't kick. a check with the doctor confirms her worst fear - her unborn child has no heart beat.


it's painful. i can see it in her eyes & yet, i also detect a steely resolve. that life has to go on. that there is still time to conceive another child. that all is not lost.


i think this is an exteme version of life cut short - life snuffed out even before the child has the chance to see & breathe the world, not that it's a pretty sight now. i want to console the mother but i can't because as a doctor, i can't explain why this happened, & as a person, i can't comprehend the agony parents go thru when their child's passing predates theirs.

so, i just held her hand.

16 comments:

wenn said...

it's almost an agony to most mothers when they lost their babies.

reanaclaire said...

Not necessary words..gestures gives consolation too.. sometimes we don't know why but it still happens.. so unexpected..
one moment he was with me walking to pasar malam... and 3 hours later, he was gasping for air.. and in few minutes, he collapsed.. reached hospital, heartbeat down to around 60.. and going down.. gone..
Never expect the unexpected to happen.. yeah.........

Yvonne Foong said...

well... it could have been worse. if the child died later in life, the mother will have to deal with a greater loss. she would have developed not just an emotional bond with the child but a physical one and lots of memories.

stay-at-home mum said...

so sad .... :(

doc said...

Wenn,

it's agony for all concerned.

doc said...

Claire,

perhaps here actions speaks louder than words, because i sure was speechless.

i commiserate with your loss.

doc said...

Yvonne,

that's certainly true but i doubt if the grieving mum would find comfort with that argument.

doc said...

SAHM,

so true.

Yvonne Foong said...

doc, I understand. But I, myself, have been comforted with those kind of words many times. :P

iml said...

If I knew then all that I know now, it'll be a nighmare to be pregnant knowing that so many many things that might go wrong. I count my blessing that my children are what they are today.

doc said...

Yvonne,

i wonder what was said that conmforted you?

doc said...

Iml,

that's why ignorance can be bliss! i had my own trepidations when my 2kids were conceived!

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to this mother . I may not know what it feels like but I understand the pain and trauma she's going through.
May God bless the soul of His little one.

doc said...

Anonymous,

thanks for your prayer.

Pretty Pauline said...

I have a dear friend who has suffered many miscarriages, and for one she sent out a card to disclose the news. It read something about the sadness, but also rejoicing that this was God's plan to get another soul into heaven, never knowing the sting of pain or sin or strife. I thought that was beautiful! Though not necessarily something easily shared with someone else over their loss...

doc said...

Pauline,

thanks for sharing your friend's situation. she must know God personally to realise that He works for good to those who love Him & are called according to His purpose.