Tuesday, October 23, 2012

the storm

it's been brewing for some time now.

no, it's not because the daughter is bringing home 2 singaporean college friends in december. in fact, we're happy to host fellow students who may forge lasting friendships beyond the school years.

no, it's not because one of them is a guy as we're not averse to gender differences.

it's because they've set their own agenda already.

they expect the daughter to drive them around town. that's ok but they want to go drinking & stay out till midnite. they also want to go to KL on a day trip.

i'm not sure what "drinks" are implied here but i'll assume (for now) they meant teh tarik at the mamak stalls. but staying out till midnite is a definite non-starter for a bunch of 18-year-olds on my watch. don't they know this is malaysia, where their former prime minister once declared is notorious for car-jackings & robberies? under my roof, there are ground rules to be followed, whether they (daughter included) like it or not. the friends probably thought this trip is a breakaway from their strict parents, or maybe their parents have been very liberal with them, but i was brought up in a conservative family & i intend to instill these same values in my kids, with some leeway. if it ain't broke, why fix it? when they've finally flown the nest, then how they lead their lives is their own responsibility, although as parents, we never completely let go.

at the end of it all, hope it's just a storm in a teacup.

10 comments:

stay-at-home mum said...

uh-oh. I am on the same wave length, and being the very responsible parents that we are, we wouldnt want anything happening to others' kids that are under your watch too. Guess you will have to be the driver and chaperone for those late nights out if you are going to allow it. You are going to be that "uncool parent" that your daughter has. But you have to do what you have to do!! Hope it all works out well in the end.

ChunB said...

No worries you can still come along with them :)

Andrea Boult said...

LOL. Not sure about you but for me, I always make my expectations known to all so that everyone's on the same page to prevent disappointment, endless poutings (and tantrums) and unnecessary stress for all parties.

Hence, you can either do it the Darth Vader way: LOOK! I am your father.You don't know the power of the dark side! No. Leave them to me. I will deal with them myself. Heeheehee

Or,

you can do the teen lingospeak and say: Yo! Here are my ground rules. I know it's crazy. But humour me, maybe.

reana claire said...

We parents never stop worrying, don't we? If we forbid them, they will think we are not sporting, on the other hand if we allow them to stay out till late, we will be "biting our finger nails" till they come home.. sigh.. not easy to be a parent these days...

doc said...

SAHM,

driver & chaperone? i think a 12midnite curfew is a fair allowance. sometimes i think these kids don't live in the real world!

doc said...

Chun,

i'm a generation gap from them. most likely, if i go along, i'll just drop them off & do my own stuff, then fetch them later.

doc said...

Andrea,

i think i'll stick with darth vader. notice how the crew in the death star all toed the line?

doc said...

Claire,

indeed we worry too much & it's the kids that put us thru all this!!!

SOO [¥] said...

Better be safe and uncool than sorry... and 12 midnight curfew is way too liberal in my book!

I'm a somewhat Tiger Mother in an international school settings where kids have playdates everyday and sleepovers (beginning 2 y. o) every weekend... I dread to think of the battles I'll be facing when the daughter becomes a teenager. And you are right, many kids especially those from well to do families do not live in the real world!

doc said...

Soo,

yeah, maybe 12mn is giving too much slack...will have to reconsider that.

another tiger mum? looks like they're all coming out of the closet!!