22 years on....& still no regrets!

16 July 1984.

that's a loooong time ago unless you're an astronomy buff. but for most people, a whole generation could reproduce itself in that time span. a child born on that date would today be in the final year of varsity, or even a malaysian idol!

anyway, that was my very 1st day at work. imagine if you will, a bespectacled, starry-eyed houseman in a white coat, brimming with lofty ideals but totally unprepared to face an unforgiving world, & about to be let loose on those ....er...poor unsuspecting patients. then you know why you should be grateful that you did not seek treatment at penang general hospital on that day. ha ha, i jest. yes, i looked "blur" & yes, i had lofty ideals (yay, to save the world but i've mellowed a lot since discovering my own mortality) but we, my freshly-graduated colleagues & i, were closely supervised on our clinical rounds by the seniors & the head of department, aka "the boss". so began a journey to live out my imagination & fantasies, my dream & ambition. come forth, you vicious bacteria & vile afflictions, for a new hero has emerged to battle you to the bitter end.......ha ha, it sounds so surreal!

to be a doctor was one of my career options when i was still in shorts & playing one-leg in school. but then, i also wanted to be a mechanic (because a family outing was once cancelled because my father couldn't start the car), a bus conductor (i thought the slingbags for coins & the ticket-clipper were cool - i still have some of the used bus tickets i've kept all this while at my parent's place) as well as a ma+hema+1c1an (because i once achieved 100marks for maths in primary school). but as the years rolled on, as i became more comfortable with additional maths, physics & chemistry, & as i mixed with like-minded classmates in the 6th form, it became increasing obvious that pursuing an engineering degree was a natural decision. a no-brainer, so to speak. before long, we were debating the merits of doing the course at the various local/regional varsities. my classmate the top student was eventually awarded a scholarship from esso to pursue his degree at london's imperial college. francis, wherever you are..... you the MAN!!

for me, i back-peddled & unashamedly reneged on our earlier consensus. call it a betrayal, an epiphany or simply seeing light at the end of a tunnel. oh yes, maybe i should add "career suicide" to that list - how else can i explain taking up medicine when i can't stand the sight of blood & biology is my archilles heel? & don't get me started on needle-phobia!!

well, the 1st 2 years, traditionally called the pre-clinical years (where teaching was done via lectures/tutorials, lab work & the dreaded dissection room - i still can't decide which is worse : cutting up the ghastly-looking cadavers or the pungent sting of formalin on the nostrils) were, simply put, tough years. how else can it be described when there's just loads of facts & names to commit to memory, & more than half of these would cease to be useful & then be vanquished to the back-burner years later??

the subsequent 3 clinical years were more relevant to the actual practice of medicine - we dealt with real people (the patients) in the clinics & wards. oh yes, i mustn't forget to mention it was here that we 1st had our encounters with those "angels of mercy", the nightingale apprentices, or in layman's terms, the student nurses. they sure helped us get by some difficult times. ha ha.

before long, what was perceived to be 5 long years of hard work & sacrifice finally came to pass, & there we were, standing tall at the threshold of the real world, promising to put into practice the noble art of healing, & above all, to do no harm. i still vividly remember the 1st day as a houseman. despite the initial doubt & delibration over the decision to embark upon, for most part, an unplanned choice of career, i am convinced now that i did not commit an error of judgment. i'd like to think that in the course of my job through the years, i've managed to uncover & nurture inner traits like compassion & empathy, which i never knew existed within. my dear ex-classmate PK was uncannily clairvoyant when she quoted william blake in my autograph book at the end of 6th form :


God bless you, PK!!
In any case, that still hasn't lessened my fascination for the bus conductor's job....


(note : these bus tickets were saved from the good old days when 5 & 10sen fares were the norm. the monopoly board is the same one mum bought me when i was 12 & in my dreams, i still own mayfair & park lane!!)