hooray! school's out!

my daughter should be posting this blog. but she isn't. yesterday's the last day of school for the year & in her case, last day in primary school. i asked her if she'd like to have my camera (& i even offered her new batteries) to capture in digital print moments commemorating a passage of rites with her classmates/teachers she may want to keep for posterity, but she politely turned me down. hey, what gives???

my parents never owned a camera & i got my 1st only in med school. looking back, i now despair at the numerous precious memories that now only reside in the dark recesses of my mind. if i had a camera when i was 12, imagine the stories, illuminated with photos, i could have come up with!

i have a faint recollection of my last days in primary school but i still remember some of the teachers vividly. mrs thumboo comes to mind 1st, followed by puan rahmah & mr brockett. puan rahmah was the primary 1 class teacher & i was her "pet". she liked me so much, she even asked me, on more than one occasion, if i would be interested in one of her daughters. up to this day, i still do not know if she was teasing.


primary 1 : pn rahmah - mother-in-law??

mr brockette is eurasian (my 1st encounter with someone so big & fair-complexioned) & primary 4 class teacher, schooled in british tradition in hong kong & a true blue disciplinarian - he could very well had been the headmaster, except that the latter was even more fierce than him!!

primary 4 : mr brockett - disciplinarian

there were also a few trainee teachers who, despite their brief sojourn, endeared themselves to my classmates & i. mr nathan came in at primary 4 - he was a really likeable chap & we tried to help him as much as we could. i remembered his appeal - that during his assessment, when he asked questions, as many of us as possible should put up our hands, whether we knew the answers or not. but we felt sorry for him because he failed in his stint with us. mr boh ooi chek, a batu pahat boy, was with us in primary 6. he was truly "one of us" & i really missed him when he left. i wonder what he's up to these days - should be enjoying retirement by now.

but what i do remember clearly of the good old days is that school holidays is for.....er.....holidaying, be it a few weeks with the grandparents, hanging out with friends/relatives, going on a vacation with the family. or even just "lepak" around at home. but none of that sedentary stuff for our modern super-competitive parents/students. as i write this, i know for sure plans are afoot for day classes, night classes, tuition classes, extra classes, motivation classes, memory improvement classes - any thing that will make sure the students stay ahead of the competition.

hey, doesn't anyone know how to be a kid anymore?

shakespeare in life

to be, or not to be.immortal words. the only bard i could quote, since literature was not offered as a subject in my school. no matter, because i managed to pick up some eg. goodnight, goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow, & some i learned the hard way eg. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

mr C has AAA. nope, that's not his credit rating & he's neither a member of the automobile association nor alcoholic anonymous. he has an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm - an abnormal bulge in the main artery in the abdomen from a weakness of the vessel wall. it has grown to a diameter of over 5cm & needed to be repaired before it leaks or worse, ruptures - then all hell will truly break lose!

earlier, he had seen the urologist for difficulty in passing urine - typical of a prostate problem for someone his age. it was during a routine abdominal ultrasound examination that it was fortuitously discovered he also had AAA. the vascular surgeon was called in & as this was the more urgent problem, mr C agreed to have the aneurysm repaired 1st. as part of a pre-operative assessment for major surgery, he underwent a gamut of tests. the chest xray revealed that he has a suspicious-looking 3 cm nodule in his lung. unfortunately, the subsequent CT scan showed that this nodule, very likely cancerous, is too deep-seated to be removed without excising the whole lung as well.

to be, or not to be.

it looked like it was not going to be for mr C. he thought he only had a urinary disorder - the prostate surgery could be done in an hour & he'd be out of hospital in 2 days. then we found he also has AAA - the aortic repair could be done in 4 hours, he'd be in ICU for 2 days
& then discharged from hospital within a week. but this lung tumour is a different ballgame & adds a sinister dimension to the scenario. should he have the AAA repair & then to discover that he has incurable lung cancer? or maybe, proceed with lung surgery & then have the aneurysm rupture on him? shakespeare aptly described this scene, also in hamlet :

when sorrows come,
they come not single spies,
but in battalions.the logical way out of mr C's predicament is 1st, to biopsy the lung nodule, determine it's nature & assess if it's amenable to chemothearapy or radiotherapy. then decide the sequence of treatment option for the best survival. not an easy resolution. mr C has but a short time to confer with his family & we await his decision.

i face instances like this all the time, & it only serves to remind me of my own mortality. in my pursuit of dreams & ambitions, i often take for granted the many little things in life whose worth far exceed any worldly rewards. what price do we put on the power of sight, the ability to laugh & the unfailing love of our family? when do we decide that we should be contented with gifts our ungrateful selves have been bestowed upon but don't deserve? shakespeare may not have the answer but the wise men of yore did shed a clue :

give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
otherwise, i may have too much & disown you
& say,"who is the Lord?"
or i may become poor & steal
& so dishonour the name of my God.
prov 30:8,9

a rude awakening & the parting of the red sea

no one likes to be woken up at 3am. esp if you have just gone to bed at 2am. i was put in that unenviable dilemma recently. well, actually it wasn't a dilemma - i was on-call & i had to answer the phone.

the emergency dept (ED) medical officer (MO) was desparate. he has a middle-aged man who had surgery for cancer of the thyroid followed through with radiation therapy to the neck. he was recently discharged from hospital but has come back because of breathing difficulty. the MO attempted to intubate (medic-speak for inserting a tube into the mouth & passing it down the windpipe to maintain an airway & to assist respiration) but he couldn't identify any of the structures in the throat to facilitate the procedure. ah, this is not good - i'm half awake, a difficult problem has cropped up & this could be life-threatening.

by the time i got to the ED, sleep has worn off & the adrenaline was in control. the MO heaved a huge sigh of relief - 2 heads are better than 1, right? the gentleman was obviously in distress - he was panting like he's just done a sprint & his lips had a sickly bluish shade, indicating he's not getting enough oxygen into his lungs. & i seriously thought he was a goner. i mean, he's got cancer that has breached the original boundaries & now, obstructing his respiration. & i'm getting flashbacks of darth vader breathing down my own neck.

ok, i definitely won't be thinking of curing his cancer, i thought, but i'm going to try to pull him through the night, at least. so here goes........

endotracheal tube - checked!
laryngoscope - checked!
oxygen - checked!suction - checked!
tissue paper (for mopping my forehead) - checked!
intestinal fortitude - err, checked, i think....

using the laryngoscope to look into the throat, i can confirm what the good MO saw - it's a war zone in there. i cannot recognise the usual anatomical landmarks other than a deformed epiglottis, which resembles a flap overhanging the opening into the windpipe, through which i must insert the tube. except that there was no opening where one should be!! zero. zilch. the devastation of the spreading cancer & the rages of subsequent radiotherapy had altered the landscape altogether.

on to plan B, & this comes with experience. seriously. (young ED MOs, before you hit the panic button & yell for the ENT consultant - & face his wrath - at such unearthly hours, you might want to consider this.) i inserted the tube just behind the epiglottis because theoretically, this is where the opening should be. as i gently prodded at the fleshy tissues with the tip of the tube, they gradually gave way to reveal the hidden orifice. suddenly i felt like moses at the parting of the red sea.

with the tube well-secured in the windpipe, oxygen breathed life into the patient, who was then transferred to the ICU for assisted mechanical ventilation. 2 days later, a tracheostomy (an artificial orifice surgically created through windpipe) was performed & he was able to breathe on his own without further mechanical assistance. after another course of radiotherapy, he was well enough to go home. i had earlier thought he was a goner, but he lived another day to dote on his grandchildren. & i love a happy ending.



"many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." proverbs 19:21

cuti-cuti malaysia, take #1.

it's been ages since i got on a plane. but each time it accelerates for take-off, my heart jumps into the throat, & i feel a knot in the neck. every time. without fail.

that's still how it was when i went with the family last weekend to langkawi. i don't think anyone noticed that i was squirming in my seat, partly because it wasn't a full load & partly that it was only a brief flight (45mins from KL). during those few moments aboard, i made a few mental conclusions :
1) even though everyone can fly now, many are turned off by the haze,
2) or prefer to stay at home during the fasting month;
3) those stewardess in red tops & matching skirts look neat & yet stunning, and
4) stunningly sporty if they put on those crimson baseball caps as well
(all hail, Tony F, ceo & fashion guru), &
5) nobody asks for food/drinks on-board when they have to pay for it.

the best way to explore the island is probably to rent a vehicle & there are no less than 12 vendors lying in wait to snare....er.......i mean, attract travellers at the arrival hall. on their brochures, a wira 1.5A goes for rm120 a day but in off-peak season (fasting month, no school or public holidays) i got one for RM45 without bargaining. & the air-con worked, too! as the fuel tank was nearly empty, the 1st stop was the petrol station. the nearest was petronas at telaga harbour park, a scenic man-made bay where a handful of yachts were docked. above the convenience store is the petronas smart, a science-themed play area similar to petrosains at klcc, except that it's smaller & does not charge for entry. anyway, the kids loved exploring the various exhibits & the brief body-snatching experience. i heard the harbour is managed by a certain datuk azahar of solo-circumnavigation fame.


after checking in the hotel & a quick, late lunch, we drove towards kuah town, passing by tanjung rhu & stopping at a hot spring appropriately named air hangat village. it was here that we learned the origin of kuah. according to history, a couple from 2 rich families on the island were forbidden from marrying by their parents. the families fought each other, leading to bitter quarrels & public brawls - faces were slapped, fists were hurled, clothes torn & hair pulled (this was before the existence of MCA Youth). also pots of gravy were thrown & jugs of hot water broken. the spot where gravy was spilled came to be called kuah, & where the hot water jugs landed, a hot spring sprouted & villagers called it air hangat.


the jetty at kuah has changed tremendously since the last time i was there over 2 decades ago. gone are the wood & plank & in its place, a spanking new concrete building, which housed duty-free shops, & watched over by a very large inanimate eagle.


after a bit of shopping, we settled for a (what else?) sea-food dinner. the fish & prawns were fresh & prices reasonable. not cheap, but reasonable.

the next day, we headed for one of ex-PM's pet project - the cable car. in a bid to promote local tourism, the rates are slashed down to RM15 & RM5 for adults & children, respectively, if you can produce the mykad. otherwise it's RM25 & RM15, respectively. now, this is definitely different from the cable car at genting or even sentosa in s'pore because it's one heck of a steep climb up gunung macincang, which i estimate at about 60 degrees (but actually 42 degrees, according to the cuti2 m'sia website) .



at the upper viewing station (there are 2 viewing stations) 710m above sea-level, there should be a panaromic view of the andaman sea, the surrounding islands & kuah town, except that it was a little misty (not hazy) that day.



even the suspension viewing bridge, accessible via steps carved out on the side of the hill, which looked impressive during the accent,


was barely visible by the time we reached the peak.

now, don't you wonder where Tun M got the idea for the (cancelled) scenic bridge??

after another round of shopping at kuah, we again had seafood dinner at pantai cenang, a "touristy" area lined with restaurants ( at "touristy" prices, i presume) & craft shops, very much like batu ferringhi in penang. oh yes, we stopped by the underwater world
located nearby, but was turned off by the (prohibitive?) admission prices - rm28 & rm18 for adult & child, respectively!! mind you, this is already reduced from the rm38/rm28 meant for foreign tourists. we definitely didn't fly no-frills just to splurge on such steep admission prices!!

we were back home the next day. it had been a thoroughly enjoyable break for us but i concluded that it would have been better had we extended our stay by just one more day, to be spent going on a round island boat trip plus a spot of snorkling thrown in. the 1st time i snorkled decades ago, it was at pulau payar, just south of langkawi & the memory of diving into crystal-clear water amidst fishes, corals & sea-urchins has not been lost on me.

of course, nobody leaves langkawi without stocking up on cheap, duty-free chocolates. lots of it!! yummy!

prof & mrs thumboo

edwin thumboo is emeritus professor at national university of singapore's english dept (& i'm sure he does not approve that i do not use CAPITAL LETTERS for proper nouns & at the start of new sentences!). his list of academic achievements is nothing short of astounding, as you can read here.

i have never met the good professor but i do know mrs thumboo, who happened to be my class teacher when i was in primary 2 & 6, & with whom i had lost contact, until 2 years back. i chanced upon a review on the professor's work in the online edition of s'pore's NST & contacted the writer, who graciously provided me prof thumboo's office tel no. & , oh so cliche, the rest is history.

i soon met up with mrs thumboo in s'pore & as we reminisced upon the good old days, i enquired if she remembered a poem prof thumboo wrote about me that was published in one of the english books used for primary 2 those days. i gathered that i was accorded that honour because, at that time, i resembled their son julian (who surprise, surprise is also a medic). that book is no more in publication so i asked mrs thumboo if a draft of that poem still existed, perhaps amongst some old newspapers in her storeroom. that was 2 yrs ago.

lo & behold, when mrs thumboo came to town a few days back, she brought with her 2 volumes of "child's delights", the professor's collection of childrens' poems, personally signed, & gave them to me.



what touched me even more is that, God bless her good heart, she even remembered gifts for my 2 kids - jane austen's emma (very appropriate) for the daughter & a dinosaur toy/book for the son. i joked with her that in 50 years, when the 2 volumes become rare collectors' items, they would be worth a million bucks.

of course i jest. i would never, ever part with those classics................ for less than 10million apiece.


class photo, 1966. on mrs thumboo's right was the class monitor, who...er...happened to be me.


THE poem. this is probably as close as i can get to seeing my name in print. the prof also wrote about his kids julian & claire in the collection.

ps. prof thumboo, if you are reading this, please feel free to correct my grammar, punctuation, sentence construction etc., as you see fit.

the gospel of st luke according to bruce kuhn

bruce who?

i've read the rave reviews. i've heard from ...er... hearsay, that it's the ultimate one-man show. a compelling, unadulterated, & in-your-face recitation of luke, not the jedi but the doctor who wrote the gospel. i figure it would do the show no justice just reading or hearing about it, so i took it upon myself to pull a church friend along & we got tickets last saturday, near the end of its current run at the bangsar actors' studio.

after having been at the cavernous petronas auditorium before, i was pleasantly surprised at the cosy ambience at the bangsar stage - just 6 rows of seats, which i thought made a mockery of the disparity in prices. other than lowest-priced seats located at the sides of the stage, those that face the front should really cost the same, because they are all quite close to the stage. ah, just my 2 sen's worth....

bruce kuhn is obviously an experienced actor, having done les miserables & tolstoy previously & has been re-telling luke for 20yrs. anyone who can hold court for 90mins without props, fanciful stage clothes, back-up singers or musicians takes some beating & deserves a 2nd look. the lightings though, when appropriately directed, helped emphasise some decisive scenes eg. the appearance of the angel Gabriel & the crucifixion. i revere professionalism & admire spontaneity but an artiste exhibiting a photographic memory with matching facial expression & body language truly fascinates me. acting out the whole gospel of luke, literally word for word, & king james version at that?? the virtuoso's display in bringing the bible to life is no more a prediction. it's a fact & i'm a witness to it. simply put, i'm blown over.

in uncertain times like this when religious conflicts abound, i'm a little taken aback, & simultaneously glad, that this show was allowed to be widely publicised & staged, without the pre-condition "for non-muslims only" tagged to it. i hear that bibles were handed out freely in the the american series & the accompanying flyers detailed where one could join the local christian fellowship.

regular church-goers would no doubt be impressed with this masterful performance of biblical proportions but i suspect it could be a life-defining event for some yet to believe in the virgin birth, or more crucially, the resurrection of the saviour. who knows, bruce kuhn the actor may yet save some souls !!

all hail, bruce almighty!

PS. i wonder if billy graham started out this way....???

fate?

anyone of us guys who have loved & lost would have been consoled with these immortal words : if you truly love her, you should set her free & if she comes back to you, then she is meant to be yours (although we are rarely advised what we ought to to do if she doesn't come back!). or as connie francis sang it more simply : que sera sera.

i too am a great believer in fate. or destiny, as some would call it. nothing happens by chance. everything has been pre-destined & is part of a master plan. nope, this is not a sunday school message. it's about how things are just meant to be.

a few days ago, i was in the operating theatre doing this major excision & reconstruction job on this unfortunate man's head & neck, scheduled to last the best part of 12 hrs. all OT personnel were prepared for a long day & night ahead. during the course of surgery, it was discovered that the tumour wasn't as extensive as the CT scans had suggested. the procedure was completed in 9 hrs - what a stroke of good luck, i thought. i was about to call home to tell the kids that papa will be on time for dinner after all, when the patient started coughing out blood - blood coming out of any orifice is never a good thing - & his neck was getting swollen. he wasn't a pretty sight, i can tell you, but he definitely needed exploration into the neck wound. & sure enough, there was a little recalcitrant spurter (medic-speak for arterial bleed) that was eventually ligated.

the chap survived the ordeal. so did the doctors & staff. but it was a close shave. in the end, both procedures took up 12 hrs in total. just as we predicted from the beginning. just as it was pre-destined.

see what i mean? if you're meant to put in 12 hrs of work, you put in 12hrs. there's no running away from it. is this fate or what?

and this is the sunday school message : and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Rom 8:28)

hiking for tea & bee hoon

i was in penang last weekend to visit the in-laws, & as a ritual, i make it a point to hike up (part of) penang hill from the youth park. (the other important ritual i almost religiously adhere to, is to savour the famous chendol of penang road, one bowl from each of the 2 stalls, no less, but i have noticed that the size of red beans is smaller these days. or is it just me?)

there's the gentle slope trail as well as the steep climb (gradient 70 - 80 degrees) & i usually do a combination - creaking joints & stiff muscles aren't pleasant sensationS, you know! there's a rest area each at quarter & half way up, but i've never attempted beyond the 1st rest - panting hard & feeling faint is the body's way of telling you that you're this near to a coronary event. still, it's about 200m above sea-level &, on a clear day, you can catch a pretty good view of the island.

what's interesting here which awaits the tired hikers, is that there's a guy who fries noodles & prepares hot chinese tea (sometimes with ginger). i can't comment on the noodles because i can't imagine eating, & i don't, after a strenous trek but the freshly brewed tea is certainly rejuvenating elixir for tired souls. incidentally, this rest-stop is on private land but the owner has graciously allowed hikers to pass through, and the refreshment is supported solely by private contributions. whoever said the penangites are "stingy" has never hiked up penang hill this way.

one day, i plan to hike up to halfway rest where i was reliably told that dim-sum is served. but 1st, i need a check-up with my cardiologist colleague, just to be safe.




photo : the gentle slope trail
photo : the steep climb

photo : 1st rest stop in sight
photo : view from
200m from
sea level.
top left
shows
construc-
tion in
progress
on
reclaimed
land.
rm700k+
for semi-D

of orang asli's & missions

Albert schweitzer. german humanitarian, theologian, missionary. and medical doctor. i 1st read of this nobel prize winner (for peace, 1952) in my history lesson in primary 5. i was just too young to understand why one would travel thousands of miles to build hospitals & look after lepers in africa.






David livingstone. scottish explorer. medical doctor. can't recall any of his work in africa except that he named the victoria falls at the mouth of zambesi river after the then queen of england, & the famous words "dr livingstone, i presume!" uttered by newsman henry stanley, sent to look for him in africa & whom he met at lake tanganyika.




me. widely unknown. ordinary joe with adventurous spirit. coincidentally, also medical doctor. & pretender in the schweitzer/livingstone mould.








it's always been my desire to set apart some time to do community work, to go down to the grassroots, so to speak. that's how i found myself volunteering for a medical camp for the orang asli's (OAs) in a recent off-road adventure last weekend. this is a yearly church mission but a 1st for me. 3 other medics & i, plus 4 helpers & medical supplies, after a 3 -hour road trip, met up with the local church members, all OAs, who directed us to the various settlements where the medical team had been carrying out their annual pilgrimages. you see, none of the team members who had made the trips before could remember the way thru the oil palm estates & forest trails (& after making the trip myself, i can understand why the twisting & turning is confusing!). besides, the advantage of having the locals introduce the team is obvious.

in the end, we spent 1 and a half days at 5 different settlements, where we examined the locals & prescribed medication. in my over 2 decades as a medic, i've never encountered people living in abject poverty as theOAs. perhaps it was physical segregation, cultural differences, socio-economic disparity or just lack of political will, that the OAs have been left out of mainstream development. the men worked at oil palm estates, tapped rubber or planted the fields, while the womenfolk cooked & looked after the children, who should be in school, but aren't. they live just too deep in the forests/estates to have access to buses (& medical care). electricity & piped water are non-existent. they seemed a contented lot though, but that doesn't preclude us from doing more for them. i'm not the social activist that can prompt NGOs & government machinery to provide aid for the OAs but i'm coming back
again for the next medical mission to do my little part.

i shall call this national service.

photo : the rough ride into the estate













photo : kids coming for vitamins & deworming syrup.











photo : our little, rural " medical center" prepares for service.












PS. it is encouraging to read in NST on 24th sept, that dpm najib announced, amongst other measures, that financial aid to the OAs will be increased, & places will be reserved for them at institutions of higher learning. the timing couldn't have been more appropriate. let's hope the measures materialise.

the one-eyed god

tuesdays will never be the same again.

not since grey's anatomy joined the already packed schedule of tv programs. if you only watched terrestrial tv (in contrast to satellite), then after the early evening fare of drama serials, you have the primetime news followed by grey's anatomy (8.30 - 9.30pm, ntv7), more serials, then desparate housewives (10 - 11pm, 8tv), joey (11 - 11.30pm, 8tv) or 3rd watch (11-12mn, rtm1) in rapid succession.

but, if you have astro in it's full bloom, you need to juggle also with football focus (8 - 9pm, espn), wwe raw (10 - 11.30pm, assp), perfect disaster (10 - 11pm, disc) and crash scene investigation (10 -11pm, natgeo).

for me, grey's is a must-see while the rest are just options to toy with, depending on my whim & fancy, esp the astro programs which will be repeated through the week. why, what is it about the abc's hit medical drama that has malaysians salivating for more? i think we have always held matters concerning healthcare close to our hearts (pun intended), perhaps 2nd only to education, as evidenced by the extreme popularity of shows like ER & chicago hope, esp in their early seasons. when i was younger i was glued to quincy, M.E. and M.A.S.H, although neither inspired me to pursue my present vocation. maybe the dramas did the trick for the young impressionable minds of present school leavers, as indicated by the intense competition for medical seats in local &, to a lesser extent, foreign varsities.

back to grey's, i think it's the interplay of personal relationships amongst the protagonists that defined it's popularity. a medical drama that prominently portrays that doctors are also humans, with their inherent vulnerablilty, is a sure-fire bet for top billing. consider this : intern falls for surgeon, surgeon fails to mention he is still married but currently separated, estranged wife makes appearance, not only as herself but also as stand-in head of department. wow! no wonder intern threatens to run surgeon down with her car when he tries to talk it out at the car park.

i can't wait for episode #2 next tuesday.

oh no, NOT another 9/11 blog!

i was watching tv when my friend called to declare that world war III has begun, & directed me to CNN to witness the carnage unfolding at the WTC. as i switched channel, smoke was seen billowing from north tower. i thought it caught fire until a 2nd plane crashed the adjacent tower. i've read about, & seen on tv, catastrophies caused by natural forces & human negligience, but never before a witness to an inhumane plunder of this magnitude. not since iraqi forces overran kuwait, & the subsequent operative desert storm, a decade earlier. watching "pearl harbour" on vcd isn't quite the same genre.

for many weeks after that, al qaeda permeated our lives & we suddenly become acutely aware that hamas & IRA aren't the terrorist flavours of the month anymore. i was due to fly to goteborg, sweden in 2 weeks & it didn't occur to me the ramifications of 9/11 till the organiser called me 2 days later to enquire if i felt comfortable or secure enough making the trip. i hesitated for less than a second before agreeing to go ahead - hey, it's not often i get invited to test-drive volvos at its motherland. the outward journey, via amsterdam, was uneventful despite the obvious heightened security checks but on the return trip, i came undone at goteborg airport, at the final check before boarding, when i was told in no uncertain terms that i could not keep my swiss army knife in my pocket, as it could pose a threat to passengers & crew alike. yeah, right!

"err, excuse me, miss, give another pack of peanuts or i'll plunge this deadly blade into your heart!!"

it had to be transferred to the baggage compartment but how, when i've already checked in my bag? trust the innovative swedes (read: ikea) to think ahead - i was given, without charge i must stress, a little cardboard box the size of a pencil-case, into which the "offending weapon" was placed, then sealed in front of me, retained by security & a receipt issued. how's that for efficiency??

back at KLIA half a day later, i discovered to my horror that the little box did not arrive with the rest of the luggage. nah, it can't be, not after i've raved about how the swedes seemed to be so-very-on-top-of-things. but it's true, my beloved swiss knife is missing. i made a report at the lost luggage counter. as expected, the clerk said he'll look into it & i thought that's the last i'd hear from him. but true to the malaysia boleh battle cry, i received a pleasant surprise a few days later when someone from the airport actually personally delivered the box to my workplace as he lived in the same town. sorry encik, i can't recall your name now but that doesn't make your act any less kind.

"and when he finds it, he calls his friends & neighbours together & says, rejoice with me, for i have found what i what i had lost" luke 15:5,6 (paraphrased)

may the heroes & the fallen of 9/11 find peace, wherever they are. amen.

best buddies

lone ranger & tonto.

batman & robin.

charlie brown & snoopy.

kevin arnold & paul pfeiffer.

kevin & paul? we all need someone we can fall back on, be they masked or 4-legged. someone whom we can ride horses with, fight crime & share secret identities with, or someone who'll just listen. we all need best friends.
kevin & paul were the comsummate bosom buddies in the ex-ABC dramatisation of middle class USA in the tumultous 60s, "the wonder years". narrated by the adult kevin, the series traced the friendship between the 2 boys from junior right thru high school, highlighting the close comradeship fostered through years of bitter-sweet sharing, competing & bonding.

it's tommy's birthday today. he was my best friend when we were in secondary school. we clicked from our common interest in chess. initially we only met on thursday afternoons at the chess club, but our friendship forged closer as we also discovered that we support english football clubs & enjoy pop songs. eventually, we hanged out on tuesdays after school to get our favourite football magazines & also most weekends either playing chess or football, or both. we got extorted one night at a dark alley. we even wrote to girl pen-friends who were classmates, & whom we visited together in penang during one of the long school vacations.

he taught me the guitar & i developed a crush on his sister, both of which were futile exercises as i still can't strum to save my life & i never got beyond to asking his sister out on a date - i'd like to think that he & his parents would have approved of me. ha, ha! (funnily enough, both kevin & his childhood squeeze winnie cooper pursued an on-off, rollercoaster relationship but eventually married another). he did grade 13 at taylor's & subsequently studied & settled in canada while i did varsity in kl.

we have not met since. wherever you are, tommy, happy birthday & i wish you & your family well. thanks for those wonder years , buddy!

photo : chess club 1976


tommy is standing at the extreme left, while that bespectacled geek standing 2nd from extreme right is yours truly. on my left is my classmate jamal, now more famously known as the CEO of maxis. & you thought i didn't have friends in high places, ha!

exam fever

It was a maths (called arithmatic those days & i can't honestly say i know the difference!) test & i scored 47 out of 50. it was the 1st of hundreds of test/exams/assessments i was to toil for before the final one nearly 29 years later. that's an awfully long time span to be bury oneself in revision books & past-year papers, but yup, there's no other way to decide who deserves the A's & who gets the diploma.

preparing for an exam is a sobering experience, because you think you have so much to cover in so short a time. humiliating as well, because you've come to realise how little you actually know about the subject. suddenly, a feeling of inadequacy overwhelms you & the possiblility of failure becomes real. this does not just apply to school/college exams. i remember i had butterflies in my stomach the morning i was to take the driving test. in those heydays of my youth, i can easily devour 3 roti canais before you can say "teh tarik", but that fluttering in the tummy & the audible pounding of the heart, plus the mind-clouding road signs/hand signals/3-point turning manouvres sure play havoc with the appetite. in the end, half a canai & 2 sips of the tarik is all i can handle. talk about supreme anxiety. & this is just a run-of-the-mill driving test.

so as the year runs it's final stretch, i can relate to the thousands who will begin the exam season with the UPSR tomorrow, to be followed in rapid succession by PMR, SPM & STPM. in this era of endless "kelas tambahan", intense private tuition & unreal, astronomical expectations, it is baffling how much responsibility is being burdened on those young shoulders. i wish them all the best for their undertakings, & hope that, at some stage of their student lives, they remember occasionally to stop & smell the roses.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, & it will be given to him." James 1:5

note : not exactly the top prize, this modest cup was one of several trophies i had won for extra-curricular activities - i represented my form 2 class in debate & we were runners-up to the 3rd formers. it's special because it was the 1st competition in school that i had won anything. it was also made of real metal. today's students are more rounded in the sense that these activities, now termed "co-curricular" to emphasise it's importance, are made compulsory in many schools.

the mile high club

This is not about raunchy escapades on-board a jet plane, neither is this a book review, although it may eventually appear like one, but i have in my possession 2 books written by ex-stewardesses.

the 1st, "single picky girl" is a collection of personal observations & experiences spinned by janice wong, a stewardess-turned-financial-buff whose unique writing style is as refreshing as she is charming - not that i have met her, but her book probably will sell a few extra copies just from that strategically-placed photo of herself....yeah, right smack on the front cover! i have read a few books by local authors but these are essentially serious stuff eg. mahathir's hard-hitting malay dilemma, lee kuan yew's detailed autobiography & karim raslan's political perspectives. so it was a really pleasant surprise to savour janice's collection of literary gems - not exactly a giant leap of faith, given her stint as a columnist for a now-defunct tabloid - spiced up by a wicked sense of humour. she waxes lyrical about life, love & relationships, & asks,"why settle for less than love?". yes, why indeed!!

not so with debutante yvonne lee's "the sky is crazy", a somewhat even-keeled, down-to-earth (??) account of life in the majestic clouds but no less hilarious. believe it or not, i can actually identify with her - "how can that be?", i hear you query. even though our vocations seemed as diagonally opposite as champagne & enema, i didn't realise that a stewardess's life is governed, very much like mine, by that dreaded piece of paper called "duty roster". so, she's also on standby duty, whereby she could be called, at the drop of a hat, to fill in for a sick or missing colleague. & if she's not there when the call comes thru, all hell will break loose. hmm, i can definitely relate to that!

i'm hardly what you'd called a high-flyer; neither am i a frequent -flyer. so when i take a flight, my ticket is invariably marked "Y", which means my seat is located in a row of 7 or 10 & i eat meals off a plastic tray. not so on a trip to amsterdam in 2001. on that flight, a passenger needed medical attention, & being the dedicated medic that i was (& still am, ahem!) , i felt duty- bound to step forward to offer assistance.

the young chap in business class has had abdominal pain since take-off & was in some distress by the time i saw him. an early inflamed appendix, i thought, so i gave him a pain-killer injection - did you know 747s carried a medical bag as well, complete with medication, syringes & stethoscope? - & he rested well after that. i advised the chief steward that the chap should be able to make it to amsterdam safely but he'll need a re-examination & further tests there.

as a gesture of goodwill, i was moved up to business class & sat just across the aisle from my new patient - i suspect this seating arrangement also served the purpose of providing close surveillance on the chap's progress - & everything thing yvonne detailed in her book was true - the plush, semi-reclinable seat, the neat toiletry bag, & free flow of gourmet food & drinks. ah, this is the life! did i mention i was also given a bottle of bubbly to go for my trouble. nah, no trouble at all, buddy!! we reached schiphol without further incident, & the young chap lived another day to share his ordeal.

on a flight to london the previous year, i had also offered medical assistance to an elderly lady with acute severe exacerbation of back & joint pain. yeah, i know what you're thinking - am i jinxed or what, as people start falling ill when i'm on board? i'm beginning to wonder myself.........will i need to give mouth-to-mouth on my next flight?? i believe everyone, & i mean everyone, should learn basic 1st aid & resuscitation (called "basic life support" in medical circles) because it's a simple yet invaluable skill to possess. the next life you save could be a loved one's.

the point of this post is this - there are actually talented writers amongst our midst, only that i am not aware of them & until such time local publishers give them a chance to express themselves, they remain undiscovered. a real pity since these hidden pearls could be future contenders/winners of the whitbread or booker awards.

oh, did i mention that, on impulse, i purchased tash aw's "harmony silk factory" at the neighbourhood popular bookshop at an unbelieveable price of rm17.95? a hardcover at that, too!

the laptop's back (i think!)

It's true what they say - that you don't know or appreciate what you have till you lose it. i lost the use of my laptop for a week recently but thank goodness, we have an IT dept for advice & dino ( i kid you not, that's his real name) had a look at it when i couldn't get it started. at 1st, he had it re-formatted but when that didn't work, he said it was a hard disc problem & promptly sent it to his friend's shop to have it changed. i now have a spanking new hitachi 40HDD installed which set me back RM380, including labour - & i thought only garages charged for labour! let me know if i have been shortchanged. i'm not sure if things are back to normal because this is the 3rd time i'm trying to post this entry & it came up with texts missing on my previous attempts.

i like doing stuff on the laptop while watching tv on the massage chair & munching crisps - hey, who said guys can't multitask?? so for the past week, i had to work with the desk-top & that's in the study room away from the tv & cookie jar. bah, no wonder i've missed out on "the apprentice" & missing some weight as well. ah, we're back to the subject of "lost" again - the state of missing something, not the tv program or body mass.

what i miss most now is a weekend away from work - away from the untimely phone-calls that invariably came through when you want to be left alone & away from the long list of patients who unforgivingly demand attention. don't get me wrong - i love my job but i lose a bit of myself when i'm attending to the needs of others & when i feel i'm missing too much of myself - when i need to re-discover myself, that's when i yearn for some time-off away with the family. & guess what - i've got a church retreat coming up this weekend where the post of asst camp co-ordinator ( the actual designation is asst camp commandant but i'm just too indisciplined & embarassed to be accorded a military decoration - ha!) was unexpectedly dropped unto my lap. ah, never mind, i shall look forward to some peace, solace & soulful rejuvenation & at the same time hope i don't make a hash of things. but i hear the invited speaker, a formidable canadian pastor, has been known to set church camps on fire - spiritually, that is. hallelujah!

i also have a medical meeting coming up end-august in KL, where i will catch up with some old pals. these are invariably social get-togethers 1st & foremost, & the educational objectives sometimes take a back-seat.

in the meantime, i'm putting my legs up, getting a massage on the mechanical gintell & watching donald trump fire yet another apprentice-wannabe as i blog.

man, i just love my laptop!

taxes & death

Whoever said that the only certainties in life are taxes & death deserved the nobel prize for philosophy. how much more candid & poignant can life be defined as a 3-word phrase!?!? let me share my personal experiences.

taxes, i can reasonably deal with - as long as i submit the monthly PCB cheques, fill in & send off the tax returns by march (just to be on the safe side, knowing our postmen sometimes hoard mail) & pray the taxman has a good curry lunch before auditing my file, i can get on with life without the scary image of smiling rotund tan sri zainol dwelling too much on my mind. btw, i just received a refund...yay!!

death is a different ballgame altogether. believe me when i say i'm not averse to dying, partly because i meet with Death ever so often, i might just as well call him "buddy". you see, i know who he likes to include into his close circle of permanent friends - the premature, the critically infirmed, the cancer-stricken, the careless/accident-prone & the suicidal, just to name a few. of course, he has on several visits tried to count me as his own but my Saviour has steadfastly vouched for me, insistent that my time has not come. but sooner or later, we will all come to the end of life's journey, whatever our religious inclination. ad finito, there're no 2 ways about it. Some will defiantly stare Death in the face & taunt,"where, O death, is your victory? where, O death, is your sting?", some will buckle in fear & trepidation at the prospect of burning in eternal flames & others will accept their destiny with quiet submission.

much like an event as commonplace as meeting the postman, i had 2 encounters with the Wily One just last week - very appropriate for the current ghost month, as the chinese would have you believe. this 4yr-old boy who broke his arm weighed in at a massive 42kg. he should only be about 20kg - or 25kg tops - but thanks to lack of dietary temperance, he is as heavy a 12yr old. some might consider puffy cheeks & a protuberant tummy a picture of prosperity, but any medic will tell you he is a walking (lumbering?) time-bomb. true to form, within 15mins into the operation to fix his arm, he developed breathing difficulty akin to an asthmatic attack. in fact, it got so critical at one stage i thought i was going to lose him.
Death was panting so close to me, i could feel his warm acerbic breaths on my neck. a silent prayer & a calm mind plus timely divine intervention eventually got us out of trouble. i mentioned "us" because had he succumbed to respiratory failure, i would have died a little inside myself. but it was THAT close!

this other young girl from indonesia had a humongous thyroid swelling for 10 years but didn't do anything about it until another swelling grew adjacent to it in the neck that caused some discomfort. initial scans revealed the thyroid swelling to be operable but the other nodule has encircled some vital arteries and nerves & may be unresectable without damaging those structures. my 2 surgical colleagues decided, horror of horrors, to take it upon themselves to attempt the unenviable (& certainly cavalier) task of removing both swellings. surgery had to be elaborately planned to cover all possiblities, so we won't get caught with our pants downs, for want of a better phrase. & because we were armed to the tooth in anticipation of likely complications, we avoided the land mines & surgery proceeded without as much fuss as the boy's. Death had been kept at arm's length, but only just. the thyroid was removed after 4 hrs but the other lump proved seemingly impossible to be prised off its adjacent artery & nerves. after a further 5 hrs of deft manoeuvring & careful disentangling, the task was abandoned - seemingly impossible had become impossible. this unfortunate girl is now back in indonesia awaiting further test results on the 2nd lump.

Just as we have evolved methods of avoiding taxes....er....i mean, paying less taxes & claiming more reliefs, we also have improvised ways of warding off evil spirits, vampires & beings from the nether world, eg. religious chants, brandishing the crucifix, robed with garlic etc. perhaps those who have something or someone to fall back on, like firm cultural grounding, staunch religious beliefs, a divine deity or God, will weather the fear of death rationally & logically:

"Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
i fear no evil,
for you are with me."

i remember an episode from x-files where a photojournalist had the knack of being right where a murder was to be committed or where an accident was to occur, & the police wondered how he always got the 1st shots at the victims. turned out that he had been accursed with immortality & was fed-up of living for over a century, although he looked barely a day over 50 - goes to show it's not that great to have too much of a good thing! so he'd there everytime Death came to stake his claim & he tried to enforced a face-to-face encounter with the grim reaper - the only way to end the curse & rest in peace forever.

no such problems for me. in my line of work, Death is never more than a breath away. i may sound nonchalant & cavalier when i say i'm used to that, immuned even, but i must thread carefully lest i step on his toes. my name might be on his list next. in the mean time, i wonder how i shall treat myself with the tax refund? maybe all 6 episodes of star wars on dvd.....& a light sabre.

may the force be with you!