i was very upset when i got the call from hospital last nite. something life-threatening happened in the ICU which was not supposed to occur, had the nurse strictly followed my instructions. what made it worse was that this nurse was an foreigner & i had difficulty understanding her accent. obviously it riled me up when precious minutes were wasted when no useful exchange of infomation took place. i asked to speak to the team leader, & after getting a rough picture of what had happened, i gave her a mouthful (read : alex ferguson's hair-dryer treatment), again for non-compliance of my clearly-written orders.
i rushed onto the road, hearting pounding from anger & thoughts of murder clouding my mind, & yet grateful for the wise decision made years earlier for staying just 1km away from hospital. despite the tensed moments with the patient & nurses, the problem was sorted out without further aggravation. & no one was killed, intentionally or otherwise, in the process.
(however, it did make me feel a little better when i privately apologised to the team leader for venting my frustration on her.)
i'm not exactly what you'd call a "cool dude"(though i wish i were one!!). far from it, i often try to justify my temper tantrums by apportioning blame to someone or something else, which doesn't solve the underlying problem. in my younger days, i saw myself as the accursed david banner in the tv series The Incredible Hulk - "don't make me angry, you won't like me when i'm angry!!" - whose green-skinned alter-ego left a trail of destruction in his fits of anger.
anger leads to many outcomes, all of them harmful eg. heart attack, stroke, stomach ulcer, yadda yadda...but i think the other green guy, yoda, said it best in The Empire Strikes Back:
"fear leads to anger, anger leads to hatred, & hatred leads to the dark side."
maybe he was inspired by the Wise Men:
"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil." psalm 38:8
anyway, what do you know - i skipped fear & went straight into anger. i've fast-tracked into the dark side & i can tell you, it's not a pretty sight there.
God help me!
**image : source**
11 comments:
You aplogised and that says a lot!
So you are human after all, and there is such a thing as righteous anger too
just me,
i just did what i thought was the right thing at that time.
looking back, it WAS definitely the right thing to do.
yes, be angry but do not sin.
Forgive me, but from where I'm standing, I feel as if you may not have skipped fear at all.
But I agree with Just Me, it says a lot about you that you apologised. =)
whoa anastasia!
you could be right - was i so transparent? no wonder, i never win at poker.
glad you agreed that i did the right thing.
hi doc,
I agree with anatasia. You may not have skipped fear at all. BTW I do not know where he or she is standing.
In private practice, especially in dealing with intensive care patients, fear is always at the back of the doctors' mind. What happens if something goes wrong? Will they be blamed? Sued? Fear are often expressed as anger.
Interesting to read that you apologised. Bravo!!
hi alex,
looks like Yoda is as wise as his Jedi Knights made him out to be!
you might have noticed that we are beginning to get litigatious at the slightest error. often, the private hospital & the attending doctor(s) are the defendants, although not necessarily in that order!!
i'm glad you agree that an apology is the start to a healing process.
yes, I believe an apology is the start on the healing process. I am at this moment researching conflict resolution in churches for an article in a local Christian magazine.
Blessings
The situation down south is probably even more litigatious. but this would just work out to higher insurance premiums if the doc/hosp get sued, which would probably be channelled back to the patients.
On the other hand, a strict no nonsense regulatory body can help. Screw up, found negligent, then off the register roll you go.
Anger. I was easily provoked to anger in the past.. every little thing irritates/angers me due to what I see as imperfect/shoddy work.
But then think of God, long suffering and slow to anger. If he would to be provoked to anger so easily, most of us won't be here. Even so that ourselves are so imperfect and commit so many sins knowingly/unknowingly in his sight.
hi again alex,
i can't remember where i read from, but in an altercation, the bigger person is the one who apologises. i guess the one who accepts the apology is equally gracious.
isn't it a paradox that conflicts exist in church, the very institution that Christ sanctions as His bride? but isn't the solution obvious - let him who does not sin, cast the 1st stone??
hope you will share the conclusions of your research. all the best!
las M,
thanks for your comment & the after-thought.
indeed, the vicious circle has been set in motion locally. in the end, everyone (the hosp, doctors & patients) suffers & the only winners are the lawyers for both sides.
similar outcome with the recently imposed Private Healthcare Facilities & Services Act. more conditions set --> increased expenses for doctors --> extra costs passed on to patients. it's inevitable.
in M'sia, the M'sian Medical Council acts as policeman for the profession - they issue the compulsory Annual Practicing Certificate, without which no doctor can legally practice medicine.
much has been deliberated on the issue of anger. i think it's OK to be angry, for even Christ was angry in his temple, but do not sin - now, this takes a lot more effort & understanding. the closer one's relationship is to God,the better is one's control of the negative emotions.
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