kids are often looking for acceptance from their peers. as students, they join school societies & cliques, & maybe out of school, they join secret societies & gangs.
my son has his own group of friends in school - the so-called english-speaking group. you know the type - speaking english amongst themselves despite being in a chinese-medium school. the other day, this group tormented a girl by calling her names. she cried as she told her mother. fortunately, her mother & my wife are friends & that's how we knew about that incident. when we questioned the boy, he revealed that although the group was verbally harsh to the girl, he just stood there & said nothing. the girl confirmed that my son was just a bystander.
i can imagine the predicament he was in. to support his group & harass the girl or do the right thing & abstain? to consolidate acceptance into the group or to risk alienation?
adults aren't much different. acceptance, recognition or approval - they mean the same, a desire to be part of a group, be it family, work colleagues or business circle.
i myself found acceptance last week. my daughter finally added me to her FB.