Thursday, May 26, 2011

Mr & Mrs K

this is about Mr & Mrs K from the previous post.

i was quite certain Mrs K was going to do Mr K in, but as it turned out, Mr K's brain surgery was a success & he recovered without much fuss. the biospy taken from his brain showed that it was a small-cell carcinioma & in this case, most likely to have spread from his lung. he has been referred to the cancer specialist & will receive chemotherapy next week.

i met up with the couple again today. he looked cheerful while she was lovingly feeding him dinner. i asked him about what the other doctors have said to him & noticed the wife putting her finger to her lips, implying that he doesn't know his real condition is & what's in store for him.

it's just reinforced what i had thought all along - she's the one making decisions for him.

so, can you forgive me for thinking that she'll do him in ??


missyc said...

In a family, there must be One Doer, Mover & Shaker and Mrs K is obviously the one.

But as to MrK not knowing his real condition, Good or Bad only MrsK knows best.

God help them, the journey is a tough ride & I hope they are financially healthy as well.

Yvonne Foong said...

Aiyoh. Doc.
Have you spoken to Mr. K one on one? What do you think about his ability to make decisions?

Mrs. K may have made the only decision she could make when she decided to let him have the surgery. Now that it is over, she might want to wait until his condition is stable enough to tell him what has happened. Mr. K could have demanded to know what happened. Maybe he didn't.

Having said that, I do believe that the patient should be informed of everything, regardless of whether he is able to take it. I would prefer to be informed too.

But I also empathized with Mrs. K based on what you described. Making decision for another person when you have to is not an always an easy thing to do.

reanaclaire said...

i remember last time the doc insisted that my father be told of every single details even we opt not to.... in the end, the doc was the one who told my father everything.. my mum has no say..

iml said...

Someone has to take charge of the situation. Mopping around doing nothing is not going to make the situation any better.

doc said...


that's quite right - a leader & a follower, in order that things go smoothly. in this case, i'm not disagreeing that Mrs K make decision; it's just that i thought it was made in a hurry.

doc said...


now that you mentioned it, Mr K did act quite indifferently to his condition, as if it's OK if his wife did everything for him, including important decisions. & he sure didn't ask me too many questions about himself.

either he couldn't care less, or if he did, he's in denial.

he was well enough to eat himself, & yet, the wife was feeding him food. it was odd.

doc said...


the patient has every right to know the truth & it's the doctor's responsibility to provide the relevant info if the patient asked for it.

put yourself in that position: would you accept it if your spouse told your doctor to with-hold crucial info from you?

doc said...


obviously, Mrs K doesn't mope around!