Saturday, May 28, 2011

Mr & Mrs K - part 2 (or is this the finale?)

i had just spoken to Mr K's oncologist today & he said something that struck me numb. well, sort of.

he said one of the most tragic experiences in life anyone can face is to find out that you have stage 4 cancer, which is essentially incurable, and you never had any symptoms to even suggest that anything was wrong - no pain, no numbness, no discomfort, nothing.

you go for a routine medical check-up & BANG! the huge tumour is staring at you from the xray.

i had the question at the tip of my tongue - how long has Mr K got - but i refrained from asking. because it's all irrelevant now. it's too late but Mr K should make peace 1st with himself & with his God, & then with the world.

after the hair-drop, vomitting, weight loss & feeling like it's the end of the world from the effects of chemotherapy, at least reconciliation will preserve some degree of dignity on the final stretch.

be strong, Mr & Mrs K!


Yvonne Foong said...

Hmmm... reminds me of my aunt Ivy. Reconciliation is crucial for a good and peaceful ending. To leave without regrets.

Which one is this stage four cancer? The brain one?

wenn said...

life is unpredictable.

doc said...


the brain lesion was a secondary from the lung.

doc said...


yes, with lots of twists & turns!

house-tai said...

Hi doc, can I just share with you my current favourite song:

eugene said...

Sometimes to be frank, the struggle would be even harder without HIM..........

Hello Kitty said...

Poor Mr. K. He didn't know he was dying? Could there be a mistake? I have read a few cases where doctors gave wrong diagnosis. Or maybe he might recover nevertheless? I will look out for part 3 of this post! A happy one that is.

May I know what is reconciliation, doc?

doc said...


thanks for the link. reminds me of The Living Years by Mike & the Mechanics.

doc said...


yes, He is a very present help in trouble.

doc said...


there's always the possibility that mistakes are made, but in this case, that's very slim.

the chemotherapy might work well for him & the tumour might shrink to a size suitable for removal, no one can be 100% sure.

reconciliation is the process whereby a person chooses to make peace or settle a difference with another person, either via apologies or forgiveness.

if there's any good news, i'll post it here.

missyc said...

I find it hard to believe stage4 CA with no obvious signs or symptoms.

Just to share, my late sis-in-law with lung ca (non smoker) said she had coughing bouts for a period of time which she self treat until she developed chesty phelgms & shortness of breath before deciding to seek specialist treatment.

Likewise an ex-classmate who passed away Dec2010 6mths after diagnosis also lung ca non smoker had complained of cough, shortness of breath, consulted a few docs, because she didn't fit the profile, nothing was done until she had stroke like symptoms was admitted & further test revealed her lung ca was advanced.

For chronic smoker like MrK, maybe he just ignored some symptoms or the ca was too advanced he felt nothing.

As a ca patient myself, there are Signs & symptoms and the body has a way of telling you to go get it checked, but sometimes people don't, but for my case I did, but like the story goes, the doctors ignored my concerns & says its normal for women my age. The rest is history.

Sorry to vent here... just wanted to say that we are responsible for our own health & the body has a way of telling us when something goes wrong. Its fate, one just have to face it head-on, fight it, win or lose, accept it.

I always suggest to others, when facing the BigC, find humor in life, don't focus on the worst, watch The Bucket List, it's funny & Live Life to the fullest.

Hello Kitty said...

I do hope the doctors are wrong in this case, or that chemo works for Mr. K.

I had 'reconciliation' before I left my previous job. I left without grudges. I made peace with the people I worked with all those years. I know what you mean.

doc said...


now that you mentioned it, Mr K might have disregarded some early tell-tale symptoms, most likely a dry cough, till late. in fact, he was working right till the day he was admitted.

instead of just venting as a comment here & there, why don't you continue to blog & share your experiences, good & bad. some call it cowardly, but i enjoy blogging anonymously as it allows a free flow of thoughts & topics.

i've been wanting to watch that movie but missed it.

doc said...


that's how it should be. it's a big risk to burn one's bridges, because you really don't know if you need to go back the same path again.

hope you are happy in your present job.