i had just spoken to Mr K's oncologist today & he said something that struck me numb. well, sort of.
he said one of the most tragic experiences in life anyone can face is to find out that you have stage 4 cancer, which is essentially incurable, and you never had any symptoms to even suggest that anything was wrong - no pain, no numbness, no discomfort, nothing.
you go for a routine medical check-up & BANG! the huge tumour is staring at you from the xray.
i had the question at the tip of my tongue - how long has Mr K got - but i refrained from asking. because it's all irrelevant now. it's too late but Mr K should make peace 1st with himself & with his God, & then with the world.
after the hair-drop, vomitting, weight loss & feeling like it's the end of the world from the effects of chemotherapy, at least reconciliation will preserve some degree of dignity on the final stretch.
be strong, Mr & Mrs K!
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14 comments:
Hmmm... reminds me of my aunt Ivy. Reconciliation is crucial for a good and peaceful ending. To leave without regrets.
Which one is this stage four cancer? The brain one?
life is unpredictable.
Yvonne,
the brain lesion was a secondary from the lung.
Wenn,
yes, with lots of twists & turns!
Hi doc, can I just share with you my current favourite song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxDkWBvxHEI
Sometimes to be frank, the struggle would be even harder without HIM..........
Poor Mr. K. He didn't know he was dying? Could there be a mistake? I have read a few cases where doctors gave wrong diagnosis. Or maybe he might recover nevertheless? I will look out for part 3 of this post! A happy one that is.
May I know what is reconciliation, doc?
House.tai,
thanks for the link. reminds me of The Living Years by Mike & the Mechanics.
Eugene,
yes, He is a very present help in trouble.
Kitty,
there's always the possibility that mistakes are made, but in this case, that's very slim.
the chemotherapy might work well for him & the tumour might shrink to a size suitable for removal, no one can be 100% sure.
reconciliation is the process whereby a person chooses to make peace or settle a difference with another person, either via apologies or forgiveness.
if there's any good news, i'll post it here.
I find it hard to believe stage4 CA with no obvious signs or symptoms.
Just to share, my late sis-in-law with lung ca (non smoker) said she had coughing bouts for a period of time which she self treat until she developed chesty phelgms & shortness of breath before deciding to seek specialist treatment.
Likewise an ex-classmate who passed away Dec2010 6mths after diagnosis also lung ca non smoker had complained of cough, shortness of breath, consulted a few docs, because she didn't fit the profile, nothing was done until she had stroke like symptoms was admitted & further test revealed her lung ca was advanced.
For chronic smoker like MrK, maybe he just ignored some symptoms or the ca was too advanced he felt nothing.
As a ca patient myself, there are Signs & symptoms and the body has a way of telling you to go get it checked, but sometimes people don't, but for my case I did, but like the story goes, the doctors ignored my concerns & says its normal for women my age. The rest is history.
Sorry to vent here... just wanted to say that we are responsible for our own health & the body has a way of telling us when something goes wrong. Its fate, one just have to face it head-on, fight it, win or lose, accept it.
I always suggest to others, when facing the BigC, find humor in life, don't focus on the worst, watch The Bucket List, it's funny & Live Life to the fullest.
I do hope the doctors are wrong in this case, or that chemo works for Mr. K.
I had 'reconciliation' before I left my previous job. I left without grudges. I made peace with the people I worked with all those years. I know what you mean.
MissyC,
now that you mentioned it, Mr K might have disregarded some early tell-tale symptoms, most likely a dry cough, till late. in fact, he was working right till the day he was admitted.
instead of just venting as a comment here & there, why don't you continue to blog & share your experiences, good & bad. some call it cowardly, but i enjoy blogging anonymously as it allows a free flow of thoughts & topics.
i've been wanting to watch that movie but missed it.
Kitty,
that's how it should be. it's a big risk to burn one's bridges, because you really don't know if you need to go back the same path again.
hope you are happy in your present job.
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