Sunday, April 18, 2010

letting go...(sort of)

the girl has fended for herself for a period coming up to 4 months. yes, she had a really difficult time at the beginning, what with the new environment & people. the school work didn't make it any easier either.

but i believe she has weathered the storm & at the same time become mentally stronger. going thru an upheaval of this magnitude at an age not yet 16 is commendable - but perhaps that's a biased evaluation because i'm the father.

so when she asked me a few weeks ago if she could watch Chicago the musical at the Esplanade Theatre by herself, i couldn't really say no. she's been there with her classmates before & it was an afternoon matinee show that she had planned.

she said she needed a break & that's a good enough reason for me.

so when i spoke to her last nite, she was beaming with joy. she had enjoyed the musical thoroughly. i was glad i let her go - she may have been alone physically but her guardian angel was with her.

in military parlance, i think the commander would have said : the eagle has flown.

Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
isaiah 40:30,31


iml said...

Looks like she is adapting quite nicely to her new friends and enviroments. Crucial for her as she is now able to concentrate on her studies and school work.

reanaclaire said...

good to hear that she is happily settled.. but as parents, we will never stop worrying for them till dont-know-when.. but singapore is a safe country.. anytime better than MY here.. :)

doc said...


yes, school work seemed to take up ALL her time. sometimes when i talk to her on weekdays, she seemed in a hurry to get off the phone.

i still remember how much fun i had in form 4.

doc said...


if not in s'pore, i wouldn't have let her out of my sight!!

(no lah, i exaggerate!!)

Yan said...


My hubby sends reminders now and then - no sex, no liquors, no cigarettes - straight and direct to our daughter in Adelaide.

I thank God a year away from home - she has actually grown closer to God and closer to parents!

Imagine she asked one day - there is a boy (ang-moh lah) who wanted to date me, do you think I should go?

It's not so much of offering your opinions, but it's the trust to share with mum even away from home!

Happy parenting.

doc said...


yes, i agree - it's very comforting when the kids ask things, even though they could have gone & done whatever they wanted to anyway.

i also wonder if my daughter would ask whether she could go out dating!!!

(i wonder if i would break into a cold sweat!!)

Yan said...

Ha, ha, doc, if Rach asked at the age of 15, I would faint or what you call a cold sweat. But she is in university now!

ilene said...

DOC, I feel for you as I too went through this phase when my girl flew the nest.

It is said that when a child leaves for college or university, it creates a hole in the family that presents both challenges and opportunities for those at home. We should allow ourselves to experience our emotions and whatever we are feeling. There is little benefit in pretending that these feelings are not there.

She'll manage. In fact I think our kids manage it better than we as parents! haha

doc said...


even when they are in varsity, i doubt if the stress is any less!!

usually we would call the girl on her hp to find out how she's getting along, but when she calls us, we know usually something's up, eg. she wants something done or bought for her.

doc said...


how very true, esp for 1st time parents. thanks for the empathy.

Unicorn Girl said...

the girl is sure blessed to have you as her dearest dad :) !

doc said...


thanks and i do wonder if i'll get to hear her say those words to me.


Anonymous said...

I am so ready to let go...but God says it is not the right time yet

just me

doc said...

Just me,

how did God convey His plan to you?

Anonymous said...

well, God didnt put any desire in her heart to go anywhere yet, meaning God wants her under my wings for the time being.

just me

doc said...

Just me,

i'm sure her chance to soar will come in due time. His time.