Thursday, June 30, 2011

some parents don't love their children

this rant is written out of anger, so don't take me seriously because these careless words may not describe the actual situation.

some parents DON'T love their children because they let the kids climb on parked motorcycles. so when the motorbike toppled over, it's fortunate that only the hand is badly hurt while we've actually seen worse injuries before.

some parents MAY love their children because when the kids are hurt, they sent them to private hospitals for immediate attention. maybe it's out of guilt, or maybe they have accident insurance.

some parents DON'T love their children because half an hour before the start of surgery, they give them a big glass of water because the kids complain of thirst. taking food or drink just before a general anaesthetic constitute a risk to the patient because the stomach contents can come back out into the mouth & then track into the lungs, causing a severe chemical reaction.

some parents DON'T love their children because, instead of accompanying the kids to the operating theatre for emergency surgery, they go out for a meal instead, leaving the kids with equally young siblings in hospital. seriously, how can the parents even swallow food at a time like this?

anyway, against the rule of Murphy's Law, everything turned out well. the surgery was a success & nothing went into the patient's lungs.

as an after-thought, perhaps this mother DOES love her 4-year-old daughter. it's just that i've imposed my own values on her. i should give myself a slap on the wrist.

like i said, this is just a rant. an angry one.


missyc said...

doc, maybe the parents were not aware of the consequences of that glass of water pre-op, maybe the parents were hungry or had to go out buy food for the young siblings, perhaps the parents know their child is in good hands :D

Michelle Mak said...

i was scolded by my grandma for being cruel cause didnt wanna allow my bro to drink when he complained of thirst before his surgery.. i was so stern and i end up asking her u wanna kill my bro isit? cannot means cannot..!

stay-at-home mum said...

Some parents really dont love their children. They let four year olds sit in the front seat of the car, and do not insist on them wearing seat belts and allow them to play around whilst they drive - all in the name of LOVE. it makes me really mad when I see that. Sorry, that's an angry rant too! :P

Unicorn Girl said...

A handful only - not all mah !
My mother is the immediate ' doctor ' before I'm even advice to seek medical treatment ! So - my mama loves me :)

doc said...


a case of ignorance being bliss? and, stress for others?

doc said...


that's more than stern - that's FIERCE!!

doc said...


not to mention letting the kids stick their heads out of the sunroof in a moving vehicle.

however, i do feel a bit sorry for a poor family of 3 or 4 squeezing tight on a motorbike & often hope they won't fall off.

doc said...


happy to know that your mother loves you! is she a paramedic?

shoeless woodpecker said...

not being aware of the law does not acquit one of it. although in this case i might give the glass of water a pass. perhaps the mother should have been informed at the hospital -i don't think anyone except the medically trained and [some] people who have already been operated on are aware of the aspiration risk.

about going to eat... there wasn't anything more she could have done at the hospital. when my brother injured his head really badly my mom accompanied him to the ER (my dad brought him in) and insisted on seeing the wound. she fainted and needed medical attention. so perhaps calming herself the mother was doing the child a favor. -although to an outsider this might come through as carelesness.

about the motorbike...stupid. a parent should be more responsible.

Yvonne Foong said...

It is possible that the parent herself was treated with laxity. So when she became a parent herself, she doesn't see or understand the need to keep an eye on her child all the time or be there for the child before she does into surgery,

I am reminded of my mom. Mom was very lax with me too. When I was barely five years old, she gave me RM5 and told me to go and buy myself a McValue meal from MCD by myself in the mall, from the top-most floor to the lower ground floor I went. I was also allowed to roam the neighborhood on my own. When I was diagnosed with NF2, mom was still sleeping when Dr. Johari called her the morning of my surgery to tell her that she did not have to rush to the hospital. Unknown to him, she did not even think of coming to see me before surgery. She had planned to only come later at night AFTER I was wheeled out of surgery!!


But my mom was not protected as a child. She had to fend for herself and take care of her younger silbings when her dad died of cancer in her seventh year.

Michelle Mak said...

hahaha... call me watever u guys want... but i am who i am... things shouldnt be done tat way means cant be done.. :P

doc said...

Shoeless Woodpecker,

Thanks for your comments.

all patients scheduled for surgery are advised to abstain from food & drink for at least 4hrs prior to the planned procedure. sometimes patients or the parents chose not to comply, esp when no explanation is given for this practice.

allowing a parent to accompany the child into the OT is to help pacify the child, NOT to let the parent see the exposed injury. the parent is asked to wait outside the OT once the child has been put to sleep.

doc said...


like i said, everyone has different values & i was imposing mine on this parent.

to each his own & we should accept that.

wenn said...

all mothers do love their children.

pilocarpine said...

it goes back to patient's (or in tis case patient's parents') communication.

i dont wish to impose values on anyone but how many times we asked patient to do something simple without explaining the reason why.

and micmak, 'die' is not a good word to use before any operation or anyone in hospital. communication is the skill of the civilized. there are always less harsh words to use, with a pinch of hypocrisy.

fibrate said...

No, I think some parents are just plain STUPID.

Like trusting their temple's shaman (yes the incongruity is intended) to treat one's ill child...packets of powder that contained mercury (real-life story)

Like letting your young daughter wander out to the pasar malam ALONE and then wondered why she never returned (another real-life story...haven't you heard this one?)

Like leaving your infant with some babysitter who then left him with a relative who then left him with an acquaintance and only discovering that he's missing ONE MONTH LATER?!!!! (non-fictional, this one)

Like holding an infant at the wheel while you're driving?!!!!! (I saw this shocking sight today)

Yes, I am harsh in my judgement, but spare a thought for these poor defenseless babies and children who look to us ADULTS to care for and protect them

doc said...


some love more than others?

doc said...


i agree good communication is a skill of the civilised, but how many times have you need to explain a procedure or instruction to a patient, only to repeat it later because they have not complied with the initial instruction?

some may not have fully understood the 1ast time, while others just chose to ignore it.

doc said...


so you agree that some parents don't love their children?

but i wouldn't be so harsh on the babysitter part, because both parents, not by choice, may have to work to support the family. it's just unfortunate that the babysitter wasn't responsible.

Reanaclaire said...

Accidents do happen but the sad part is that they can be avoided if we parents are more alert.. many times i can see kids running about in the residential area while the parents are nowhere to be seen.. never know when these kids can be knocked down by vehicles.. well, i guess to sum up, as parents or guardians, we play an important part to safeguard our small kids...

doc said...


saying so, also have to admit it's hard to keep an eye on these active kids 24/7. unfortunately, it's during this lapse that accidents often occur.

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. Parents say they love their kids but then letting those kids do supposedly fun but harmful or dangerous things actually goes to show how much they "love" their kids.

Like letting the kids hang their arms and heads out of car windows!

doc said...

Mei Teng,

maybe the parents do that, then the kids just imitate.

Bengbeng said...

sometimes when there is more than one, the kids seem less precious...proportional to the number of kids n prospects of getting more.

doc said...


sometimes i feel that way too, but more so when there are 3 or more kids.

Anonymous said...

Its easy to tell when someone doesn't love there children. when they kill them intentionally like the casey anthony trial. that poor little baby now the parent didn't love her child that's obvious. so when someone gives there child water before surgery does that mean that they don't love them or when they allow there child to hang there arms out the window and so on. I think that means that there stupid not that there is no love.

doc said...


this parent is just ignorant. she didn't know the risks of taking food/drinks just before surgery. because she subjected her child to such danger, it just felt like she didn't love her child.

like i said, this post is just a rant. don't take this seriously.