A new dawn

It's so cliche to talk about every day being a new day, or a day to look forward to new experiences.

Given the on-off alternating turbulent and calm times I've had to go through these recent years, I think I have finally turned the corner. A light at the end of the tunnel which I hope  is not that of an approaching train. :P

Incidentally, coinciding with, but not related to, the passing of my dear friend Robert,  I felt there was, in the process, a sense of reconciliation and restoration, that it was the 1st day of the rest of your life.

a new day indeed.

Chap Goh Meh

Finally, it's the last day of the lunar new year celebration.

This year, we made the daring decision to celebrate with the in-laws in Penang, anticipating traffic in grid-lock on the NSE. To our pleasant surprise, we think we have crack the code to avoid the perennial traffic jam.

Travel up 2 days before CNY & return on the 2nd day. traffic was generally smooth & Rest Stops weren't packed like sardines.

We were also pleasantly surprised the food stalls started operating on the 2nd day itself but that came with a premium of RM1 over the regular price (RM5).

Looks like everyone's out to make a quick buck at every possible opportunity. Talk about veg, fish (esp white pomfret) and prawns before CNY.

But I say, live & let live lah - hard times are coming & everyone's going to be affected.

Long arm of the law

I am a pretty law-abiding citizen (ahem). The last fine imposed on me was a summon compounded for speeding. That was 8 years ago when I drove a turbo-charged 2-lit continental. With age rapidly catching up, I have since downsized to a 1.8-lit Japanese. I figure my reaction time would have dampened and parking is easier with a smaller car.

But I had casually more often than not, not placed parking coupons for short-term stay at certain less crowded places. Well, the law finally caught up with me.

The parking outside Jusco requires coupon up to 6pm. At 5.25pm, I thought I could just sneak in for a couple of grocery items. When I came out at 5.30, the misdemeanor had been promptly witnessed & duly slapped with a RM30 fine. The irony was that I could have parked for free within Jusco itself, but was just too lazy to go in & out of the gantry.

Commit the crime, do the time, we have been warned. I think it's only human nature to take risks & hope we can get away with it. Anyway, blaming only myself, I turned up at the payment counter the next morning & was pleasantly surprised when the clerk asked for only RM10. He duly stamped the payment.

Even though the fine is only the price of a set lunch, the impact is considerable. I thought I am a law-abiding citizen but obviously I am suffering from delusions of grandeur.

:P

The Circle Game

This song didn't mean much when I first heard it in my teen years. The cover version sang by Hong Kong star Agnes Chan was popular with my classmates because we all fell in love with her. But now that I've heard Joni Mitchell's original version, I am also thinking of a child......

Yesterday a child came out to wonder....

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

 Next year, in November, with the blessing of God, the circle will be complete and she will walk in the shoes I have walked in for 35 years.

Giving

The general perception of giving is that, by doing so, you actually lose something, with the exception of unsolicited advice, which people often give freely & generously.  :)  And conversely, that by receiving, you have gained something. 

Giving is integral in the fabric of the Hippocratic oath. What the unwritten understanding is that when a fellow physician seeks your professional service, you are duty-bound not to charge professional fees. Giving, remember?

Yesterday, I spent 6 hours in OT with a patient who is also a fellow doctor but whom I do not know personally or professionally. The surgery was labour intensive, and sometimes energy sapping. At the end of it, to conform with the spirit of professional courtesy, I do not expect any remuneration for this effort. It did feel unsettling initially, given the nature & duration of the surgery, but what did I actually lose? Nah....just exchanged 6 hours of my time for professional social responsibility, a notion I gradually warmed up to.

The good doctor (the patient, I meant :P) survived the surgery, so let's not sweat the small stuff.

Symmetry

There's no doubt New Zealand is one of the most beautiful countries in the world and the South Island is where many tourists will spend most of their vacation.

My friends and colleagues are just puzzled why, having been to NZ 5 times, I still have not been to the South. And I keep repeating there's so many sights to behold in the North. Last year, my daughter and I trekked the Mt Taranaki trail at Egmont National Park in the North. It is one of the most symmetrical mountains in the world & because it resembles Mt Fuji, it was used as location shooting for the movie The Last Samurai starring Tom Cruise.

And no, I am not ready for the South just yet.

Both sides now.

42 year old gentleman. Had nasopharyngeal cancer (NPC) 20 years ago and was treated with radiotherapy.

Last year he developed cancer of the neck, probably as a result of repeated & prolonged exposure to the radiation treatment for the NPC. He has had 3 surgeries to remove the growth on his neck & this has left him with a hoarse voice, unable to swallow properly and partially disfigured.

Today, he needed to have a feeding tube surgically inserted into his stomach to facilitate nutrition.

And then, some one I know well complained about the prices of Chinese New Year cookies.

Ironic.

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Both sides now (Joni Mitchell)

MH 131

That's the malaysia airlines flight to Auckland. Always brings a smile to us when we get to visit the daughter, marking the beginning of a much anticipated family vacation at year's end.

Except when she has to board the same flight on her own, to go back for the new academic term.

She's spent the last 10 days with us at home. She regaled, shopped, feasted and caught up with old friends.

And she lamented she has to go back again and that if only we all could be there with her.

Grow up, girl. There are many solo  journeys in life. Paths on which you thread alone. A rite of passage.

But you are not really alone. Our love  for you abounds wherever you are. Our thoughts of you tarry by your side. On your shoulders, you carry our aspirations. And God's presence is nigh if you open your heart to Him.

Goodbye is painful only when you know you'll never say hello again.

Goodbye for now, Hello in October.

Friend or foe?

Conflicts at work are a norm. Everyone is wired differently, so they think differently over the same issue, and accordingly, act differently. Some problems resolve amicably while others simmer in the background, sometimes ready reignite.

Is there a feeling that is worse than being stabbed in the back? It's so cliche to state that a brave person will face the issue by taking the bull by the horns, and only a low-esteemed low-life coward will stick in the knife when no one's watching.

My colleague seemed to be such a person. Another colleague had attested to that. So sad...going away for meditation.....for spiritual renewal....in faraway exotic retreats... came to nought.

A skilled pair of hands would do great wonders prompted by a honest mind and compassionate heart, and only a few can claim that honour. But for now, it's a relief to vent....to rant...to get the uneasiness off the chest. And the knife off the back.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

So cliche!

:)

One life

An acquaintance just bought a sports car....you know, the flame-red turbo-charged coupe type. The kind I thought you'd buy if you struck a lottery.

Or when going through a mid-life crisis. :P

Anyway, he said a-matter-of-factly that he has only one life & wants to live it to the fullest. At 60+, that doesn't leave him much time.

On the other hand, I thought a-matter-of-factly, that if you only have one life, you shouldn't be making so many enemies.

Ha, ha. I am just being my cynical self.



The Good Samaritan

This is the oft narrated parable of old. It tells of a Jew who was waylaid by robbers on a quiet road. Battered & bruised, he lay helpless as a fellow Jew and subsequently a lecture priest walked by without so much as lifting a finger to help. Finally, a Samaritan (a native of Samaria whom the Jews regard & detest as a tainted race) came to his rescue. Dressed & clothed him & placed him in the care of an innkeeper & footing his expenses.

Friends helping each other is common practice but for a stranger or an adversary to do likewise is indeed commendable.

Recently, my daughter spent time in hospital with a classmate she hardly knew when the latter's mother was admitted with a critically illness. Truth be told, compassion is an attribute she rarely displays, so this came as a pleasant surprise to me.

Shortly later, she was in some distress waiting for her year-end exam results, having been
unsure of one of the papers she sat for. That got the wife in sixes and sevens, but the boy and I weren't perturbed.

All things worked for good to those that love God and are called according to their purpose. Paul said so, and I held on to the premise, that her act of random kindness at the hospital will provide reassurance she will pull thru.

It does and she did.

Amen.

final destination

If you have seen the movie, you'll be convinced you can't escape death. The movie makers & movie-goers alike must also believe it because there were another 4 sequels after that.

I have seen three of my late colleagues in the obituary page - one from a stroke, another from a delibitating disease & the 3rd from a ravaging cancer. Then I look at myself in context & wonder whether mine will be cut short like in the movie.

If my number had been up, it would have happened years ago.

When I was about 12, I tried to mimic a pole vaulter at the home garden. Strung a rope across & used a stick to jump over. Fell awkwardly facedown & felt excruciating pain over the whole abdomen. On hindsight, I could have ruptured the liver or spleen.

When I was 14, I opened the fridge at home during a thunderstorm & felt a sharp slap-like pain at the back of my calf. Was that a teeny-weeny electrocution?

When I was 27, before I could afford a car, I rode the motorbike to do part-time locum at a clinic along Jalan Jelutong, Penang. Many times, I had to stop in the middle of the road while waiting to turn right. If you live in Penang, you will know it's a very busy road & I had to depend on the goodwill of vehicles passing behind me to keep a safe distance.

When I was 29, while driving down from Penang to KL, I drifted off to the left of the main trunk road (before the NSE was opened) & as a reflex, turned the steering wheel excessively to the right & the car jumped up the kerb & veered sharply to the opposite lane. I lived to tell the tale because there was no oncoming traffic.

My personal belief, and I stress personal, is that my time is not yet up because in the grand scheme of things, there must be a role I still need to play, the reason for my very existence, as is for everyone else who is still alive.

It is my wish that all of us do whatever we can, while we still can, for the betterment of mankind.

student nurses

nurses played a major role in my life.

my mother was one and that may have inspired me to follow a certain career pathway, but there were student nurses in the hospitals that I trained at or worked in that changed my outlook in adult life.

I thought I had found the girl of my dreams before I left for varsity. We went steady for over 3 years despite the long distance relationship & during term time, we kept in contact through public phones & letters.

It all changed when I started going to the wards during the clinical years. There was this student nurse PB in the surgical ward that drove me crazy. Her friendly & bubbly personality gave me crazy ideas. Like if I didn't see her in the morning, I would make it a point to pretend to see the patients during her afternoon or night shift. Her roster was on the notice board, that's how I tracked her movement ....*evil laugh*

my preoccupation with her drove me to break off with the erstwhile girlfriend, who was distraught beyond words. what do you expect, one day it was lovey-dovey...the next, it's adieu. well, not really because our parents knew each other well, so it wasn't really a clean break.

Coming back to PB, the chemistry was definitely there but it somehow just wasn't enough to clinch the deal. The one memorable moment I spent with her wasn't alone with her but at her home with her parents during Chinese New Year. Her mum was truly charming & I was sure PB inherited that attribute from mum. We remained friends to this day.

After that, I got to know CP, a classmate of PB. Like PB, she stayed at the nurses' hostel, so it was easy to meet. CP is from Penang, so we continued where we left off after I graduated & did housemanship in Penang. Just when I thought I will clinch it this time, she married someone else - the son of the landlady she was renting from. I attended her wedding but was a tad disappointed she couldn't or wouldn't or didn't wait for me. I still see her at church when I go back to Penang. Our families have met & we remained friends.

Then came AE...a student nurse at the Penang Hospital. Woo hoo......she really got me eating off her fingers. Bubbly, charming & intelligent....graduated top of the class even. Even met her parents when I spent a weekend at her home. This one was definitely a "done deal" but guess what?

I got cold feet & chickened out. Eventually, she married my colleague - personally & frankly, I think she was better off with him.

Which begs the question : was I really ever ready to commit in the 1st place? Probably not because there was a string of short term relationships after that which never really took off....no lasting chemistry...no sparks.....

But three years later, the stars ignited & planets lined in place. The one I thought will never happen ....the outside bet...the dark horse....actually did. After a 2-year courtship, we married.

Oh yes, she also a nurse.

(did I not allude to this at the beginning?)

STPM

The exam starts today. I sat for its predecessor, the HSC, when it was in English.

I didn't feel I had prepared well for it & I remember I had a particularly torrid time with the Biology papers. The results certainly reflected that sentiment.

How I ended up doing Medicine is a rags to riches story.

Just take my word for it - zero to hero.

:)

SPM

The exam starts tomorrow. It used to be called MCE when the language of instruction was still in English. It's a faint memory for me but I remember the 1st and last papers well.

Traditionally, BM is the 1st paper. I remember writing 3-4 pages of karangan. The answer sheet has a hole punched in the upper left corner & a string is used to tie the sheets together. On each, the student was supposed to write the index number & IC number. However I wrote them only on the 1st sheet but forgot to write it on the subsequent ones. If the sheets got separated, unlikely if fastened securely, then only the 1st sheet can be traced to me. Imagine the anxiety I went through for the rest of the exam lasting 3 weeks and another 3 months waiting for the results. 

The last paper was Add Maths & it fell on the day AFTER my birthday. Unfortunately, my best bud came a-calling on my birthday, thinking Add Maths was a walk in the park for me, so we ended up chatting & going out for dinner. Didn't get home till about 9pm, which gave me just a couple of hours to revise. 

I scraped thru with a P7 for BM, still enough to get into 6th Form and got a C3 for Add Maths, which dismissed the notion about the stroll in the park.

All the best, SPM candidates, esp to those in flood-hit Penang.

Specs #2

I didn't stay long in the last class. After a couple of good monthly test results, I got promoted to J class, was made class monitor by midyear, & went on to stay in EC till 6th Form.

I met 2 best buds there - TS in Form 3, a fellow chess & football enthusiast whose sister I had the hots for, and TzC in 6th Form, a fellow delinquent & partner in crime.

I then had 4 other crushes in quick succession, one in Lower Six & THREE in Upper Six. How I got into Medicine despite the bruises is another tale for another day.

I had 4 soon-to-be eminent schoolmates - 2 captains of industry (Liew at Setia/EcoWorld and Jamal at Maxis/Axiata), a chief minister (Khaled) and royalty (HM the Sultan).

Believe me when someone tells you that school days are the best times in one's life.

Specs

That was the name the BM teacher called me in Form One. She didn't know my name then & I was the only one in class with glasses.

There were 10 classes of Form One that year, Form I A to F, then J to M. I was in Form 1M, the last class.

That was an anomaly that year. The premier secondary school for boys was EC. Every smart kid wants to get in but admission is by location; you get in if you live in the area. I lived far from that & ended up in the not-so-glamorous neighbourhood school, SAB. As we were gathering to register on the 1st day of school at SAB, after much delay & confusion, we were told to report at EC the next day.

Because we were not the original EC batch, we were temporarily allocated to J-M classes and because they couldn't trace my Secondary School entrance test results, I was arbitrarily banished to the bunch-of-losers last class.

Yes, that's me, Specs, starting secondary school right at the bottom of the pit. But there's one consolation, though - from thereon, there's only only one way to go.

Up.

Ten ten

Some one took the trouble to create such a day. I wouldn't have known about it had not someone posted on FB.

Not sure how to celebrate it, if at all. For me, all I want is for the patient to leave the operating room alive and healed.

That alone is reward enough.

Amen.

some loose ends tied

it was a pretty good week...

the real Unifi guys finally turned up.....I meant not the earlier pretenders who came & checked up the place and yadda.....yadda......yadda......can only do internal wiring....Telekom need to pull the external wires from the router box....RM500 excluding the modem....

a whole month after registering for it, the earlier installers really gave me the run-around.....and finally, Unifi finally sent these fellas who did everything in one go, for just extra RM200.

oh yes, there are more than a few installers out to make a quick buck.

and finally, got the daughter's accommodation sorted out for the next (and last) 2 years of her course. every year at this time, since she has been in varsity, we agonized whether she could secure a place to stay near the varsity and we are glad this predicament is a thing of the past.

hope your week has been good, too.

a wedding dinner in 2017

My colleague's son is having his wedding dinner at an upmarket hotel.

For the 1st time ever, in addition to the menu, this was placed on the table...

Personally, I didn't think it was a good idea. It's as if the diners don't already have enough of surfing at home, at work or while waiting at the traffic lights. But then it's the sign of the times. Even if the free wifi is not provided, most will already have their own data plans anyway, but with this added service, it will certainly encourage more people to surf in between & during dishes.

So, if you don't mind, just hold the yam seng while I reply to my WhatsApp message.

:P