Breaching professional limits ?

I seldom get very friendly with my patients, probably because they weren't sure if I were the buddy-buddy type. Most times I am not.

But Rz was a tad different. A 39-year old who came in for abdominal surgery, he speaks English like his mother tongue & with a sense of humour, too, both a rare coincidence these days. What clinched the deal was that he supports Arsenal as well.

Then the floodgates opened. He seemed a little cheery when I do my clinical rounds & we spent a good few minutes dissecting life in general. He seemed keen to cut down some weight (20kg, no less, I advised him!!) so I suggested to him to slow-hike up the neighbourhood hill. We parted on that optimistic mood.

I'll know if he's serious about the hill climb if I meet him on the slopes. Otherwise, all bets are off.

World Cup Final 2018

Like in 2007, 2010 and 2014, we the ex-EC students managed to get together for a weekend of good food, drinks and camaraderie. We left school in the mid-70s but only in 2007 that decided we would meet at least once every 4 years on the weekend of the World Cup Final.

But this time I am touched beyond words.

I didn't arrange prior accommodation but someone offered to share his twin room.

I didn't have a car and someone else offered to lend me his.

These acts of random kindness overwhelmed me.

Thank guys. See you again in 2022.

RIP Andrea.

My blogger friend passed away today after a short illness.

Our common ground include reading, supporting Arsenal and being avid fan of StarWars. And also being cynical about life.

She lent me a whole set of  StarWars books & special edition DVDs, and now, I don't know if I should return them to her family or keep them in remembrance of our brief friendship.

Have a good trip home, Andrea, to the great football pitch in the sky.

You will be missed. 

One good turn deserves another

As a follow-up to the Help!Help! post,  on the following day, it was I who needed help & it was the same colleague who provided assistance and advice during a critical event.

This patient developed a severe allergic reaction near the end of an operation, resulting in a drastic drop in blood pressure & oxygen content in the body. And because we took immediate measures to counter the reaction, the patient recovered without any ill effects.

This truly lent credence to the practice that two heads are better than one and that many hands make light work.

And I forget, no man is an island.

Help! Help!

I was called out of the OT by a nurse who said my colleague needed help in an adjacent OT. When I got over, he was furiously performing CPR & barking orders to the nurses. He told me the patient just had a cardiac arrest. After a few more life-saving injections, the patient miraculously came around - he actually opened his eyes & cough & spluttered.

My colleague thanked me although I didn't contribute much but I guess, sometines, one's mere presence is comfort enough.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good for everyone. (Gal 6: 9,10)

Dealing with people you can't stand

I bought the 1st edition (currently, 3ed) of this book over 20 years ago, hoping to get by some of the difficult relationship with so-called friends & colleagues. And some relatives as well.

I think I still got nowhere & certainly none the wiser after more than halfway thru the book. Yes, right, so up till now, I didn't haven't finished reading it, because relationships are just too complicated.....

Then I realised I could have gotten free advice, concisely in 2 sentences, from Peter the apostle.

Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world. (1 Pet 2:12)

A good samaritan

Commandment : Love your neighbour as yourself.

Question : Who is my neighbour?

Answer : The stranger who changed your flat tyre.

A new dawn

It's so cliche to talk about every day being a new day, or a day to look forward to new experiences.

Given the on-off alternating turbulent and calm times I've had to go through these recent years, I think I have finally turned the corner. A light at the end of the tunnel which I hope  is not that of an approaching train. :P

Incidentally, coinciding with, but not related to, the passing of my dear friend Robert,  I felt there was, in the process, a sense of reconciliation and restoration, that it was the 1st day of the rest of your life.

a new day indeed.

Chap Goh Meh

Finally, it's the last day of the lunar new year celebration.

This year, we made the daring decision to celebrate with the in-laws in Penang, anticipating traffic in grid-lock on the NSE. To our pleasant surprise, we think we have crack the code to avoid the perennial traffic jam.

Travel up 2 days before CNY & return on the 2nd day. traffic was generally smooth & Rest Stops weren't packed like sardines.

We were also pleasantly surprised the food stalls started operating on the 2nd day itself but that came with a premium of RM1 over the regular price (RM5).

Looks like everyone's out to make a quick buck at every possible opportunity. Talk about veg, fish (esp white pomfret) and prawns before CNY.

But I say, live & let live lah - hard times are coming & everyone's going to be affected.

Long arm of the law

I am a pretty law-abiding citizen (ahem). The last fine imposed on me was a summon compounded for speeding. That was 8 years ago when I drove a turbo-charged 2-lit continental. With age rapidly catching up, I have since downsized to a 1.8-lit Japanese. I figure my reaction time would have dampened and parking is easier with a smaller car.

But I had casually more often than not, not placed parking coupons for short-term stay at certain less crowded places. Well, the law finally caught up with me.

The parking outside Jusco requires coupon up to 6pm. At 5.25pm, I thought I could just sneak in for a couple of grocery items. When I came out at 5.30, the misdemeanor had been promptly witnessed & duly slapped with a RM30 fine. The irony was that I could have parked for free within Jusco itself, but was just too lazy to go in & out of the gantry.

Commit the crime, do the time, we have been warned. I think it's only human nature to take risks & hope we can get away with it. Anyway, blaming only myself, I turned up at the payment counter the next morning & was pleasantly surprised when the clerk asked for only RM10. He duly stamped the payment.

Even though the fine is only the price of a set lunch, the impact is considerable. I thought I am a law-abiding citizen but obviously I am suffering from delusions of grandeur.

:P

The Circle Game

This song didn't mean much when I first heard it in my teen years. The cover version sang by Hong Kong star Agnes Chan was popular with my classmates because we all fell in love with her. But now that I've heard Joni Mitchell's original version, I am also thinking of a child......

Yesterday a child came out to wonder....

And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We're captive on the carousel of time
We can't return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

 Next year, in November, with the blessing of God, the circle will be complete and she will walk in the shoes I have walked in for 35 years.

Giving

The general perception of giving is that, by doing so, you actually lose something, with the exception of unsolicited advice, which people often give freely & generously.  :)  And conversely, that by receiving, you have gained something. 

Giving is integral in the fabric of the Hippocratic oath. What the unwritten understanding is that when a fellow physician seeks your professional service, you are duty-bound not to charge professional fees. Giving, remember?

Yesterday, I spent 6 hours in OT with a patient who is also a fellow doctor but whom I do not know personally or professionally. The surgery was labour intensive, and sometimes energy sapping. At the end of it, to conform with the spirit of professional courtesy, I do not expect any remuneration for this effort. It did feel unsettling initially, given the nature & duration of the surgery, but what did I actually lose? Nah....just exchanged 6 hours of my time for professional social responsibility, a notion I gradually warmed up to.

The good doctor (the patient, I meant :P) survived the surgery, so let's not sweat the small stuff.

Symmetry

There's no doubt New Zealand is one of the most beautiful countries in the world and the South Island is where many tourists will spend most of their vacation.

My friends and colleagues are just puzzled why, having been to NZ 5 times, I still have not been to the South. And I keep repeating there's so many sights to behold in the North. Last year, my daughter and I trekked the Mt Taranaki trail at Egmont National Park in the North. It is one of the most symmetrical mountains in the world & because it resembles Mt Fuji, it was used as location shooting for the movie The Last Samurai starring Tom Cruise.

And no, I am not ready for the South just yet.

Both sides now.

42 year old gentleman. Had nasopharyngeal cancer (NPC) 20 years ago and was treated with radiotherapy.

Last year he developed cancer of the neck, probably as a result of repeated & prolonged exposure to the radiation treatment for the NPC. He has had 3 surgeries to remove the growth on his neck & this has left him with a hoarse voice, unable to swallow properly and partially disfigured.

Today, he needed to have a feeding tube surgically inserted into his stomach to facilitate nutrition.

And then, some one I know well complained about the prices of Chinese New Year cookies.

Ironic.

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Both sides now (Joni Mitchell)

MH 131

That's the malaysia airlines flight to Auckland. Always brings a smile to us when we get to visit the daughter, marking the beginning of a much anticipated family vacation at year's end.

Except when she has to board the same flight on her own, to go back for the new academic term.

She's spent the last 10 days with us at home. She regaled, shopped, feasted and caught up with old friends.

And she lamented she has to go back again and that if only we all could be there with her.

Grow up, girl. There are many solo  journeys in life. Paths on which you thread alone. A rite of passage.

But you are not really alone. Our love  for you abounds wherever you are. Our thoughts of you tarry by your side. On your shoulders, you carry our aspirations. And God's presence is nigh if you open your heart to Him.

Goodbye is painful only when you know you'll never say hello again.

Goodbye for now, Hello in October.

Friend or foe?

Conflicts at work are a norm. Everyone is wired differently, so they think differently over the same issue, and accordingly, act differently. Some problems resolve amicably while others simmer in the background, sometimes ready reignite.

Is there a feeling that is worse than being stabbed in the back? It's so cliche to state that a brave person will face the issue by taking the bull by the horns, and only a low-esteemed low-life coward will stick in the knife when no one's watching.

My colleague seemed to be such a person. Another colleague had attested to that. So sad...going away for meditation.....for spiritual renewal....in faraway exotic retreats... came to nought.

A skilled pair of hands would do great wonders prompted by a honest mind and compassionate heart, and only a few can claim that honour. But for now, it's a relief to vent....to rant...to get the uneasiness off the chest. And the knife off the back.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

So cliche!

:)

One life

An acquaintance just bought a sports car....you know, the flame-red turbo-charged coupe type. The kind I thought you'd buy if you struck a lottery.

Or when going through a mid-life crisis. :P

Anyway, he said a-matter-of-factly that he has only one life & wants to live it to the fullest. At 60+, that doesn't leave him much time.

On the other hand, I thought a-matter-of-factly, that if you only have one life, you shouldn't be making so many enemies.

Ha, ha. I am just being my cynical self.



The Good Samaritan

This is the oft narrated parable of old. It tells of a Jew who was waylaid by robbers on a quiet road. Battered & bruised, he lay helpless as a fellow Jew and subsequently a lecture priest walked by without so much as lifting a finger to help. Finally, a Samaritan (a native of Samaria whom the Jews regard & detest as a tainted race) came to his rescue. Dressed & clothed him & placed him in the care of an innkeeper & footing his expenses.

Friends helping each other is common practice but for a stranger or an adversary to do likewise is indeed commendable.

Recently, my daughter spent time in hospital with a classmate she hardly knew when the latter's mother was admitted with a critically illness. Truth be told, compassion is an attribute she rarely displays, so this came as a pleasant surprise to me.

Shortly later, she was in some distress waiting for her year-end exam results, having been
unsure of one of the papers she sat for. That got the wife in sixes and sevens, but the boy and I weren't perturbed.

All things worked for good to those that love God and are called according to their purpose. Paul said so, and I held on to the premise, that her act of random kindness at the hospital will provide reassurance she will pull thru.

It does and she did.

Amen.

final destination

If you have seen the movie, you'll be convinced you can't escape death. The movie makers & movie-goers alike must also believe it because there were another 4 sequels after that.

I have seen three of my late colleagues in the obituary page - one from a stroke, another from a delibitating disease & the 3rd from a ravaging cancer. Then I look at myself in context & wonder whether mine will be cut short like in the movie.

If my number had been up, it would have happened years ago.

When I was about 12, I tried to mimic a pole vaulter at the home garden. Strung a rope across & used a stick to jump over. Fell awkwardly facedown & felt excruciating pain over the whole abdomen. On hindsight, I could have ruptured the liver or spleen.

When I was 14, I opened the fridge at home during a thunderstorm & felt a sharp slap-like pain at the back of my calf. Was that a teeny-weeny electrocution?

When I was 27, before I could afford a car, I rode the motorbike to do part-time locum at a clinic along Jalan Jelutong, Penang. Many times, I had to stop in the middle of the road while waiting to turn right. If you live in Penang, you will know it's a very busy road & I had to depend on the goodwill of vehicles passing behind me to keep a safe distance.

When I was 29, while driving down from Penang to KL, I drifted off to the left of the main trunk road (before the NSE was opened) & as a reflex, turned the steering wheel excessively to the right & the car jumped up the kerb & veered sharply to the opposite lane. I lived to tell the tale because there was no oncoming traffic.

My personal belief, and I stress personal, is that my time is not yet up because in the grand scheme of things, there must be a role I still need to play, the reason for my very existence, as is for everyone else who is still alive.

It is my wish that all of us do whatever we can, while we still can, for the betterment of mankind.

student nurses

nurses played a major role in my life.

my mother was one and that may have inspired me to follow a certain career pathway, but there were student nurses in the hospitals that I trained at or worked in that changed my outlook in adult life.

I thought I had found the girl of my dreams before I left for varsity. We went steady for over 3 years despite the long distance relationship & during term time, we kept in contact through public phones & letters.

It all changed when I started going to the wards during the clinical years. There was this student nurse PB in the surgical ward that drove me crazy. Her friendly & bubbly personality gave me crazy ideas. Like if I didn't see her in the morning, I would make it a point to pretend to see the patients during her afternoon or night shift. Her roster was on the notice board, that's how I tracked her movement ....*evil laugh*

my preoccupation with her drove me to break off with the erstwhile girlfriend, who was distraught beyond words. what do you expect, one day it was lovey-dovey...the next, it's adieu. well, not really because our parents knew each other well, so it wasn't really a clean break.

Coming back to PB, the chemistry was definitely there but it somehow just wasn't enough to clinch the deal. The one memorable moment I spent with her wasn't alone with her but at her home with her parents during Chinese New Year. Her mum was truly charming & I was sure PB inherited that attribute from mum. We remained friends to this day.

After that, I got to know CP, a classmate of PB. Like PB, she stayed at the nurses' hostel, so it was easy to meet. CP is from Penang, so we continued where we left off after I graduated & did housemanship in Penang. Just when I thought I will clinch it this time, she married someone else - the son of the landlady she was renting from. I attended her wedding but was a tad disappointed she couldn't or wouldn't or didn't wait for me. I still see her at church when I go back to Penang. Our families have met & we remained friends.

Then came AE...a student nurse at the Penang Hospital. Woo hoo......she really got me eating off her fingers. Bubbly, charming & intelligent....graduated top of the class even. Even met her parents when I spent a weekend at her home. This one was definitely a "done deal" but guess what?

I got cold feet & chickened out. Eventually, she married my colleague - personally & frankly, I think she was better off with him.

Which begs the question : was I really ever ready to commit in the 1st place? Probably not because there was a string of short term relationships after that which never really took off....no lasting chemistry...no sparks.....

But three years later, the stars ignited & planets lined in place. The one I thought will never happen ....the outside bet...the dark horse....actually did. After a 2-year courtship, we married.

Oh yes, she also a nurse.

(did I not allude to this at the beginning?)