Friday, June 19, 2009

the decision

after discussing with my family & then with Dr L, we all agree that father will not have a quality of life we would all like him to have - he will be bedridden, unable to care for himself & for most times, not know what's going on around him. just a couple of steps short of being vegetative.

since, being the eldest, i was given charge to make all decisions regarding father, i sought counsel from the prophets & they spoke to me thus :

This is what the LORD Almighty says:
'Administer true justice;
show mercy and compassion to one another.'
zech 7:9

He has showed you, O man, what is good
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God. micah 6:8

so i explained to the family that father will continue to have basic nursing care, including cleaning, feeding & his regular parkinson's medication. any other requirement will be assessed on its merits but there certainly will be no more invasive intervention, eg. resuscitation, ventilatory support.

as expected, they all agreed.

so, this is our decision : to act justly & to love mercy.

may God see us through.....


ilene said...

DOC, I too would have agreed with you on this course of action. You must have had sleepless night pondering on what is the right decision?!

When doctors told me that they would not resuscitate my mum when the time comes, I gave them my consent. It was one of the most disheartened decision I ever made!

msforty5 said...

There is still a window of opportunity to make his life as comfortable & meaningful. He may be ill don't know how to express his feeling or unaware of what is happening.

From my experience with both cancer stricken mother in law & sis in law (vegetative state), make a little time to touch, say words of comfort, show compassion, wipe their hands, face coz it means a lot eventhough they can't express it in words or emotion. There was moment of resentment but then I remember if I am ill & bedridden how would I feel....

After their passing, I know I have done my best.

And God will see you through, pain and suffering is part of life.

just me said...

My spirit man is elated with your decsion... I know there will be difficult days ahead but His grace is always sufficient and remember,

Ps 68 v 19 "... He DAILY bears our burdens."

Will pray for special strength for your loved ones ...this is indeed a testing time.

doc said...


naturally a decision like this doesn't come easy but it is progressively evident that this is only rational option.

sleepless nites don't even begin to describe arriving at this decision!!

doc said...


actually i've not look at this as a window of opportunity, but yes, this could well be an opportunity for closure as well.

doc said...

Just me,

thanks for your prayer.

iml said...

Love means learning to let go. Learning to accept when the time comes.

doc said...


herein lies the irony - we let him go on Sunday, but he's still holding on.